Joseph - Actions Louder Than Words

As we approach the ending of 2011, I pause to send you Christmas greetings.  A time to reflect on the birth of Jesus.  The celebrate on the beginning of His human life as fully man and fully God.  Born to a young virgin and a hard working carpenter.  This year I have pondered Joseph.  Not much is recorded regarding Joseph.  His words are not quoted only his actions.  Actions speak louder than words. 

Joseph was a man of integrity.  What did he feel or think when he learned of Mary's condition?   I imagine feelings of betrayal.  How could she do this to him?  How did he misjudge her?  Maybe he wondered if Mary's father had deceived him, did they think he was so gullible?  And yet despite his reeling feelings he thought to quietly divorce her to protect her, rather than have her publically disgraced and stoned as was his right.  He must have loved Mary very much and/or respected her family highly.

Joseph was a devout Jewish man and responsive to God.  An angel visits him in a dream.   Would you believe a dream in which an angel visits you?  Would you distrust your dreamy, hazy memories?  It must have been a powerful, memorable dream with high impact.  Certainly if the Angel of the Lord visited my dream, I would remember it vividly.  In this dream, he is told to take Mary as his wife and name the baby Jesus, for the babe conceived within her was from the Holy Spirit.  Again, Joseph's words are not recorded but his actions are that of obedience.  It must have been frightful to take this bold action.  What would the community think of him, would his business suffer, would he be ostracized, would his family disown him?  And yet he obeyed.  He surely must have been convinced his "dream" was an actual visit from God.

Joseph was a leader, the head of his household.  When the census decree was declared, he embarked on a journey with his very pregnant, young wife.    A long distance to obey the law, it must have been tempting bend the truth, leave Mary behind as they were only betrothed, their marriage not yet consummated.  I envision him carefully assisting Mary on this journey, watching over her, anxiously trying to provide for her needs on this arduous journey.   This young lady was carrying God, the angel had told him such.

He had a very big responsibility without this journey, being the chosen earthly father of God!!  Can you imagine his frustration when he arrived in Bethlehem to be unable to find lodging?   He must have nearly been frantic.  Mary would have been obviously pregnant near time of delivery.  He must have wondered what God thought of him being unable to provide adequate lodging for Mary.  Perhaps feelings of failure plagued him.  How could he let God down by allowing the mother of His son stay in a stable surrounded by animals?  

Wouldn't you know, that is exactly where and when the baby was to be born.  In a smelly stable, not a proper home.  Was he able to find someone to assist Mary through the delivery?  Were they alone?  He may have wondered what God thought of him now.  Certainly this was not the place for God to enter human life.  But what choice did Joseph have at the time?   His resources were limited being a simple man of simple means and the small village was full due to the census.

The timing of the story is a bit uncertain.  I haven't been able to discern, in my casual research, how long they would have been in Bethlehem for the census.  But we do know that shepherds caring for their flocks in a nearby field were visited by angels proclaiming Christ's birth.  These shepherds found and visited this new family and told them of their story of the angels' proclamations.  Likely the shepherds' presence and story stirred up the surrounding community.  A birth usually draws people but this would be incredulous, people would naturally be curious.  Can you imagine the questions he would have had to answer over and over?  Joseph would have been likely fielding many visitors all while trying to understand what was going on around him.   The son of God born in a stable, angel visits, shepherds, and then wonder of wonders... Kings from afar who followed a star that stops above their own dwelling.   Kings...really?  A star??  Surely he and Mary saw this star.   How could the kings have known this star would lead them to Jesus?  They arrive with gifts - magnificent gifts, much beyond what a carpenter likely ever possessed.    It would have been very overwhelming.

Now we come to the part in this saga of crazy King Herod.  He is determined to kill this baby that threatens his throne.  Again, Joseph is visited by an angel in a dream.  The dream must have struck fear in his heart  as he is told his family is danger from King Herod and to leave immediately.  Again, we have little documented history.  It is recorded he bravely packed up his little family and made for Egypt.  Did he dare tell anyone, even new found friends who are potentially in danger?  Such a lonely position. 

Had Joseph ever traveled so far previously?  We do not know.  I will assume he had never been to Egypt.  How unsettling this must have been for a newlywed husband with a young baby that is not his but God's.  A young wife far away from her mother and family learning how to care for an infant.  Her body recovering from labor and delivery.  All the challenges of being a newlywed and a new parent and now to be on the run for their lives.  Starting a new life in a new country.  Could life be more challenging?  And yet Joseph obeys.

This is all the information I have of Jesus' earthly, adopted father during the time of Jesus' birth.  I like to think  I would have desired to be his friend. Maybe I would have thought he and Mary a bit off kilter.  After all, they would have been telling stories of angels, miraculous pregnancy, shepherds, stars, kings, and other incredulous things.  Yet,  I get a sense his was a respected man of his community.  An intelligent, kind, tender-hearted, hard working, loving man.

Yes, actions speak louder than words.  Josephs actions speak volumes.    It makes me ponder what my actions say about me...  hmmmmm.

Birthdays and Aging

Today is my birthday.  I am another year older, hopefully a little wiser, and young at heart.  I am now at the stage of aging when many do not care to acknowledge the number.  Some dislike birthdays altogether.  I have a few thoughts of my own on this subject.

This past spring, I lost a friend to a cruel disease, Jacob Cruezfeldt at the young age of 42.  She is survived by her husband and two young sons.  Her age is one of those numbers that many wish they did not achieve, instead desiring to stay at some younger age.  In previous years I have lost a cousin at 48, another acquaintance around 45, and yet another at 52,  an my (ex) brother-in-law at 47.  I empathized with friends and acquaintances in life and Facebook of young children's passing due to accidents and disease.  This has altered my perspective on birthdays and aging.

I do not particularly enjoy the aging process.   The aches, the pains, the fatigue.  I am not really fond of gray hairs although I try to have fun calling them sparkles and cover them up with dye.  The wrinkles are not overly appealing.  Yet.... I am here, I am alive, I am mostly healthy!  I do not wish to lose sight of how fortunate I am.   The Psalmist said it best in Psalm 39:4

 ⁴ “Show me, LORD, my life’s end
   and the number of my days;
   let me know how fleeting my life is.

Psalm 139:13-16 tells me I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that before I was created all my days were ordained.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.  Your eyes saw my unformed body, all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

 I read in Ecclesiastes 8:8a that I have no power when my life will end any more than I can contain the wind.

"As no one has power over the wind to contain it, so no one has power over the time of their death."

Today I am 41 years old.  Blessed to celebrate another year of life!  I am not guaranteed another year, month, or even day.   I am hopeful to celebrate many, many more.  As many as the Lord allows, I plan to celebrate the days and years I have been given.

                                

 

 

 

Dewindling Summer

Summer time!  It is already August.  Summer months are quickly coming to an end.  I had grand plans to blog regularly.  Ha!  Summer took over and blogging was a fleeting ideal.   Here in the upper midwest, one must take advantage of these minimal days of long day light hours and warm temperatures.  All too soon, colder temperatures and darkness will descend leaving but a shadow of a memory of summer.

Honestly, my favorite season is Autumn.  It is still warm during the day but the humidity is gone.  The ground is dry and crunchy.  Oh, and I admittedly I am one who likes to wear shorts with a sweatshirt.  Crazy but true.  The downside to Autumn is the constant lessening of daylight hours.  I crave daylight and the long dark days of late autumn and winter are disheartening. 

I am getting ahead of myself... you are probably wondering what I have been doing this summer.  A better question to ask is what is God doing in my life this summer?  Along with mowing the lawn every four to five days, trying to stay cool in the rather ridiculous humidity, I have been seeking God's direction in my life.

This fall is a transition for our family that directly impacts my lifestyle.  After eight years of homeschooling both of my children will be attending school outside our homes.  We are all excited for this transition.  I believe my children have the foundation academically and, more importantly, spiritually to attend school.  Yet this change means that for the first time in 16 years I will have considerable time to myself during the school hours.

As I have pondered the upcoming 'freedom', I have been wondering exactly what I should do with my time.  I am a bit on the lazy side coupled that I am not one  with a desire for an immaculate house (i.e. not a great housekeeper) could be a recipe for a self-centered disaster.  So I have been praying.

Prayer is powerful.  My lazy summer turned into a summer of opportunities to serve in our community.  I have seen first hand and been able to serve those living at poverty level.  Each time I come away humbled and reminded of how blessed and privileged I am in these challenging economic times.

I also had the opportunity to serve at a Christian camp that had an influx of registrations for Jr. High camp.  I answered a plea for help as they sought out additional counselors.  I had a fun and exhausting week.  My cabin was full of a group of beautiful young ladies who stole my heart.  I have the honor of praying for them as they have returned home to finish summer vacation and return to school.  I am reminded that life is not easy for anyone but for teenagers, life is even more challenging!

Now I am looking at the final weeks of summer and wondering just what fall will look like... I believe God has been preparing me for something.  I just am not sure exactly what it is yet.  I am considering taking some classes and researching out ideas in this direction.  I am not necessarily looking for a degree but additional Biblical training and discipleship training seems appropriate. 

I want to be the best I can be in God's Army.  I am a bit scared and at the same thrilled to say "Here am I, use me, send me!"  I am not perfect but neither was Moses, Noah, Joseph, Naomi and Ruth, Job, or David.  I am learning to trust God and let Him make my weaknesses His strengths.

In the meantime, I am sad that summer is ending.  The less structured pace, the sometimes lazy days are all too quickly coming to an end.  Now it is time to prepare for the first days of school and activities.  As well as time to prepare for all that God has in store for me in this next phase of life.

Father's Day Musings

This weekend is Father's Day.  A day set aside to specifically honor fathers.  I am fortunate to have a husband that is a remarkable father to our children.  Below are a few of the traits he exhibits as he parent's his children.  

Tender heart - - I have seen my own husband gently cradle his newborn daughter, gazing at her in pure wonderment and love.  I have watched as he has taken his baby and snuggled with her for a nap on the sofa.  Held her as she ached in illness.  Calm her while she was distraught with pain, fear, or frustration.  Rock his child to sleep as his own arm lost all feeling.  This manly guy can be so gentle and tender caring for his children.  I often had to fight for 'my turn' to hold my baby.  Now as teenagers he continues to show tenderness displaying how a man should treat a young lady with courtesy and respect.

Teacher - - My husband has taught his children many skills with great patience.  How to throw and catch a ball, pound a hammer, mud a wall, grout a floor, climb a ladder...  He has taught them the complexities of scientific concepts and math skills well beyond anything their mother can comprehend.  He has helped them with homework on the phone while traveling for work.  He has interrupted his work day to answer many a question.  Never a teacher that just gives the answer away, he will patiently guide them through the thought process to the answer.

Leader - - He leads our family through all situations, decisions, and tasks.  He leads us in prayer and i ministry.  He leads us in new adventures.   He sets the boundaries for our family - our use of time and finances. 

Encourager - - My children's daddy will encourage them to try new things, never give up, and to try again.  He will purchase books, magazines, equipment to encourage hobbies and new interests.  He will learn along with them as they discover new things.   He has built a giant sized solar system and a potato battery. 

Protector - - From things that go bump in the night to the bugs that needs squashing or the rodent that requires extermination.  He also protects his family guiding them around potential unsavory places and people.  He makes his presence known subtly or overtly conveying - "Mess with her, you must deal with me." 

Silly - - He knows how to be silly and brings a lot of fun to our lives.  He pretends to speak Spanish, he has a dry sense of humor, and great wit. 

Hard worker with strong work ethic to provide  - - Children need things, especially shelter, food, and clothing.  A daddy will do all within his power to provide these essentials for his family.  Sometimes at great sacrifice to himself.  I have seen my own husband's dreams and desires put on hold as he puts his family's needs as a priority.  He works hard to provide attempting to balance the demands of the his job with the demands of his family.

Servant - Through the years our family has been blessed by our fathers in their sacrificial assistance.  From automotive repairs, vehicle loaners, and hard labor in home remodeling projects.  They have consistently and fervently prayed for us.   My husband has served his children in many ways through their childhood and see the potential that he will continue the legacy of service as they are adults.

Our family is blessed with a Daddy not just a father. 

Funk or Fear

It occurred to me this morning that I have been in a funk lately.  Sometimes it takes a bit for  me to realize that a funky mood has descended upon me.  My revelation came to me gradually as I was going about the business of the day.  The business of the day isn't much today, it is summer vacation and we are experiencing a rather pleasant few days of a slower pace.  But you know what? The 'business of the day' is not the going to be the same for me.  A shift is taking place in my life and it is causing a bit of a funk.  Or maybe it is the long, harsh winter, followed by an extended cold spring, with a shot of extreme summer temps and a wild 50 degree swing in the other direction within a matter of days.  What do you think?

Many things are shifting and changing in my life right now.   Our family is moving in a different direction.  My children are now teenagers and their activities are changing.  They are older, needing less of me which is a good thing, what we strive for as parents.  My role is changing and I did not expect these feelings until they went off to college or moved out of home leaving us with an empty nest.

For the past eight years I have been homeschooling our children.  Last year my oldest child attended school outside of our home and it now appears that the youngest will be joining her this fall.  My days of homeschooling are over.  I have had children at my side for the past 15.5 years.  It is  hard to imagine days without them and being home alone.   I feel adrift, a bit useless, and unneeded.  Frankly, I am lacking  direction. The kids are only going to be gone to school for 7 hours each day.  Sheesh, what's my problem, right?

Additionally, in the past 6-9 months we have left an organization that, I, in particular had been highly involved in as an adult volunteer.  It was not anticipated to cease participating altogether, but that is what happened, and seemly rather suddenly.  I have been exploring my options but haven't quite figured out how to incorporate it all into this new phase of our life.

All this means that the community of people I have been associated with for the past eight years will be continuing on without me.  It is natural that to feel a bit a drift during change, I guess.  But it is uncomfortable.

I have a few ideas as to how to fill my new found "freedom" but frankly I am a bit afraid. I am not the ultimate homemaker so the thought of cleaning and cooking 28 hours (random number) of the week will likely morph into 28 hours of avoidance on Facebook, surfing the internet, and watching tv.  I could get a job but in reality the kids still need me for taxi service and homework assistance, a job could make this challenging -  - oh okay, I don't want a job, who am I kidding? 

Add to this thought process an email I received about the future of America (it was a forward and it made some valid points) but I started to feel a little bit of anxiety over these things which I have no control. 

I went for a walk, borrowing my child's iPod, I put on the headphones and started playing Casting Crowns (we just purchased 4 of their CDs).  My mind did not focus on the music but rather on the future and the uncertainty of it.  I said (in my mind) "God, I am afraid of the future."  Almost instantly the words: "Do not be afraid, for I am the Lord your God;  I am always with you." 

 I then recalled how the Israelites wandered the desert for 40 years with the cloud leading them - they had left behind all they knew and had no knowledge of the future. Can you imagine the uncertainty and anxiety of these people? All the jobs and tasks they knew before were to be no more. What would they do? How would they function? Where would they live? Their whole lives had shifted dramatically. They could only follow.  And I realized, God was with them in that cloud or pillar of fire.  He never left them, He always provided,  and He always made a way.

Wow.  I still do not have the answers for the future.  I still don’t have any control over the uncontrollable; I still do not know what my role will be as we make this family shift.  But I am feeling more confident in the reminder that God is always with me, leading me, walking beside me, carrying me.  Even in a time of storm - which for me, at this moment, is a time of uncertainty.

"I will Praise you in this Storm
and I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this Storm"

The last song I heard on the iPod as I walked up the driveway to the backdoor.

Struggling dogwood

Gardening is the topic of choice today.  I am capable of gardening but it is not my passion.  I do not have a 'green thumb'.  I am never sure if it is a plant or weed, especially when young so I tend to leave most everything.  By the time it is identifiable it is overwhelmingly weedy.  I don't really enjoy being in the sun  and most gardening cannot be done in the shade.  Add to that mix, that I am not a detailed oriented person.  This does not make for a great gardener.

However, this past weekend, it was not raining and we were home for an afternoon. We tackled some overdue  yard work items.  Winter was long and harsh, Spring was equally long and cold.  My hubby got his tractor with the assistance of our oldest daughter, running the disc and plow through the small field that is used as a garden plot by my father-in-law.  My youngest daughter planted a few pots of flowers.  I went to work on the bushes in the front yard.

These bushes were planted about four years ago.  I bought these little guys on clearance during a hot, dry July.  My idea was to plant them to provide some protection from the road.  There are Burning Bushes, Maple Amurs, and Dogwoods.  We have a bit of property and the front of the yard is a long ways from the spigot.  I carried water to the bushes by the bucketful to make sure they did not die during the drought we were experiencing. 

Four years later, these bushes are still struggling.  Not much bigger than when I planted them, I have been disappointed in their progress  I am also not really thrilled with mowing around them, especially since they are not thriving as I had hoped.  The dogwoods really are struggling - mostly sticks with few leaves.  There were only two of these and I finally mowed down one of them last year. 

But off I went to clear out the grass and weeds growing up and through the plants, taking their water and chocking them.  I pulled out the grass and weeds.  I also put in fertilizer spikes, something I probably should have been doing each year, One or two of the bushes are beginning to show promise. But the remaining dogwood is not doing well at all.  When I pulled away all the grass I found a few short sticks of growth with a handful (about 4) of small leaves.  Definitely not thriving and it looks like the deer have found it tasty as well.  I am considering mowing down this non-productive plant.  I realize the soil is not the best in this part of my yard but I was hoping these hardy plants would make it.

The same time I planted those bushes, I also planted a row of pine trees.  These guys were small, in one gallon pots.  I have carefully tended to them through several years of drought and protected them from the plow of the tractor (they are on the edge of the field).  I am delighted to report that they are growing quite well.    The lawn tractor is no longer a threat and they are more easily seen from larger farm equipment.  I do not mind mowing around them just to see the progress they are making; the growth each year is pleasing.  They are planted in clay, loamy soil and loving it! 

This made me think about the Heavenly Gardner.  How He plants me, nurtures me, pulls at the weeds, carefully mows around me, and I disappoint Him in my growth.  Year after year He continues to tend to me, with much more skill and patience than I have for my bushes.   I know I disappoint my Heavenly Gardner and wonder if He is getting tired of continuing carefully tending to me, much like I am with the bushes.  I wonder if He wishes I was more like those pine trees - putting down a deep tap root, pulling from water deep down, and shooting upward and outward.  I know that is what I desire to be - a thriving, growing tree rather than a struggling, little bush in danger of being mowed over and forgotten forever.  Gives me much for thought and thankfulness that the Heavenly Gardner has much more patience than I do for that struggling Dogwood.  Hmmmm... wonder if I should transplant that bush?

Only need to ask

In the same line of thinking of when God revealed Himself in a real and tangible way, I recalled another incident. I am ashamed at my failure to remember God's faithfulness especially when I am feeling like my prayers are going no further than the ceiling. I am saddened when I consider all the times God has intervened and I failed to acknowledge Him. Truth is that God is always working in my life, seen and unseen. Truth is that God has promised to never nor forsake me.

It was our anniversary. We had planned for our children to spend some time with their uncle while we celebrated. We made plans, I do not recall exactly what those plans were but probably dinner and a quiet evening together, our budget being rather scant. The day or so before, hubby started to complain of not feeling very well. Believing it was likely a flu bug I didn't give it much thought, he would recover quickly.

Friday arrived, hubby stayed home from work ill and going more downhill as the day progressed. He was drinking fluids and resting to fight the 'bug.' Disappointed, I canceled our plans and settled in to be a nursemaid. Hubby is not one to go to the doctor, he has to be extremely ill or in severe pain to consider such a visit.  Day turned into night and still he was not feeling any better.  I teased him he didn’t need to get ill to express his displeasure in our plans.

Very early the next morning, he awakened me to take him into urgent care.  "Wow," I thought, "he must really be feeling awful."  He then revealed to me that despite drinking massive quantities of water, he could not urinate.  This information propelled me out of bed and into motion. 

Still very early, much before the polite hour to call another's home, I called my parents to arrange child care for our children.  Thankfully, my dad is an early riser, but I think I got him out of bed on a Saturday at this early hour.  He arrived shortly thereafter, and I packaged my shivering yet sweating and hobbling husband into the car.  Urgent care is first come first serve.  Suffice it to say we were first, as we waited 30 minutes in the parking lot waiting for the clinic to open.

I was becoming more concerned by the minute.  He was walking like an elderly man and very pallid.  In the waiting room I tried to keep him warm as the chills wracked his body in waves.  He was asked for a urine sample, which was impossible.  He was diagnosed with a prostate infection which can be treated with antibiotics.  But it was very worrisome that he had not been able 'to go' for over 12 hours and he had taken in two quarts of liquid.  He was sent for an MRI - I think it was an MRI anyway, to look for any blockage.

The imaging clinic was across the street, I helped him to the car and out again and into the clinic.  I planted him in the nearest chair and checked him in for the test.  He was given some barium (brain is fuzzy on the substance) to drink.  It was a several hour process… drink this much now and this much more later.  Poor guy, it was horrible tasting and he was miserable and uncomfortable. 

Sitting in the chair, I watched my husband fade before my eyes.  I finally approached the desk and asked if they had an examining table or bed he could lie on and blankets.  By now the chills were non stop.  His color was very disturbing.   Needless to say, I was becoming frightened.  They kindly found him a gurney, a room, and blankets.

By now it was lunch time, he sent me out to pick up his prescriptions so that when the test was complete I could just take him home without needing to stop for medicines.  I reluctantly left his side.  I put in the order for his meds at pharmacy in the big box store.  As I waited, I did some shopping for band aids for my youngest, she was always in need of band aids for real and imagined boo-boos.  Funny how I remember finding Strawberry Shortcake band aids for her.

I called to check in on the girls and to give the report of hubby's condition.  I was teary as I expressed his condition and my concern.  Mom then asked me if I has put him on the church prayer chain.  Duh!  I had not thought of that, I was so caught up in caring for him.  I, of course, had been praying but did not think of including the body of Christ, so caught up in caring for him.  She offered to make the call for me and we hung up.

I received the medicines from the pharmacy, grabbed a sandwich, and rushed back to his side.  I was anxious to return to him.  He was not any better than when I left him.  I ate my lunch, called his parents, and prayed over him.  About 30 minutes later, within 60  minutes of putting him on the prayer chain, he informed me he needed to use the bathroom.  Really?!  A nurse and I assisted him to the restroom with the use of a wheelchair, as I recall.  It was a 'productive' visit to the restroom!  Immediately, he began to feel a bit better and his coloring improved.  They continued with the test, saw nothing, sent him home. He was ill for about a week, it takes a while to recover from such an infection. 

 

I believe that God intervened on his behalf.  Yes, it could have been the stuff they gave him to drink that cleared some sort of blockage.  But I believe that God can use that in His healing process if He chooses.  I am more interested in the timing of when the change occurred.  It was shortly after a call for prayer.  I am ashamed that I had not asked for prayer earlier.  I do not believe it was coincidence that hubby improved as we sought prayer support.  God is all knowing, He knew what we were going through, He was waiting and willing to assist.  We only needed to ask.  Something to remember and never forget.

Do you see that car?

My last post I described how God protected us during a severe storm in 1998.  This got me to thinking about other times God has been clearly evident in my life.  I wish I have been more diligent in writing things down in the past, I am guilty of thinking I will remember and not forget.  But alas, I am human, and thus have a short memory.  Which is why history is doomed to repeat itself over and over again.  In the Bible God's people were instructed over and over again, to build a moment, pass it down to the children, remember .... remember God's faithfulness. 

To memory came another incident where I prayed and God answered.  Had it not been for my daughter in the car, I may have missed His answer and then failed to thank Him and praise Him for caring for us.  All too often, I rely on myself or think of it as coincidence when really it is God taking a very tangible and real role in my life. 

This particular day I was about 50 miles away from home with my two daughters.  I had taken them to a conference for young girls on being a Bright Light for the Lord.  A February day in the upper mid-west can range from sunshine - rain - freezing rain - snow - blizzard.  The conference was held in the southern metro area and I live past the northern edge of the metro area. 

The day started out with rain and developed into freezing rain, at least where I was at in the southern metro area.  I went out at lunch and cleared the windows of the ice developing which turned out to be very wise.  Many others at the end of the day were chipping away at inch or more thick layer of ice on their windows.  My ice layer at the end of the day was considerably thinner due to my previous clearing.  We set out for the drive home which would typically take about an hour.

It was late afternoon when we left.  There was still daylight and although the driving was slow I could see the road and other vehicles in the remaining daylight.  As we drove north the freezing rain turned into snow.  The interstate was crawling along at about 25 mph.  Our drive extended into the second hour as we carefully made our way home. 

Twilight fell as I turned off the main, well traveled interstates and freeways onto the county roads that lead to my home.  The traveling became more slow and careful.  Soon it was dark and the snow was falling heavily and we had passed the two hour mark on our drive.  In a rural area, on a country road in the dark, I could no longer distinguish the ditch from the road.  Gripping the wheel and white knuckled, I prayed aloud something to the effect of "Lord, I can't see the road, please take the wheel and drive us safely home, show the path, in Jesus Name."  I returned to giving my full concentration to driving.

Shortly, a car appeared on the road ahead of us.  I could see its taillights and the tire path on the road ahead of me.  I did not recognize what was occurring ahead of me or how much easier the driving (relatively speaking) had become with the existence of this vehicle.  My daughter from the back seat who was leaning forward trying to assist in identifying the road boundaries, exclaimed "Mom, that car is showing us the way, just as you prayed!"  She was so right and I nearly missed it!!

We continued the final miles to our home following this car.  I was shocked when it turned down my street, a small gravel road.  It continued on down the road right past our driveway, literally showing me the way home.  I turned into the driveway full of about a foot or more of snow, where I promptly got stuck.  I sat back and with my girls thanked the Lord for providing a guide for our drive home and for getting us home safely.

I still am amazed each time I reflect on this event.   The car was not in front of me previously, we were alone on the road  - - a lonely country road.  I did not see a car pull out from a driveway or side road.  And I did not recognize a neighbor as it continued on down my street.  I wonder, did I see an angel?  I do not have the answers.  But I am convinced that it was placed there for me in answer to my prayer.  This was not a coincidence nor was it my own ability that got us home safely that night.

The Big Blow of '98

In 1998 a storm came through leaving damage behind.  We were fortunate the damage, although rather extensive, it did not touch our home.  We were front row witnesses of watching God's hand of protection on our home and family.

May 15, 1998 was a very warm and muggy day.  The forecast  called for potential severe weather.  I made some preparations for this potential: washing dishes, doing a load of laundry, filling buckets of water for toilets, made bottles for the baby, made room for my car in the garage.  I wanted to put my car in the shed as the garage floor was littered with toddler toys, but the tractor was in the way.  So I quickly cleared out the garage floor.  I figured this was the type of storm that we could lose power for a few hours, maybe a bit of hail.  Little did I know...

I spent the morning caring for my babies, preparing for 'potential' weather, and enjoying the beauty of the current weather.  I sat on the screen porch we then had journaling and praying.  I remember being thankful for our home, the beauty of our surroundings, and the wonderful life I was leading.  I also prayed for our protection, specifically protection of our home and lives should storms develop. 

The weather was ripe for storms, very warm, high 90s (F) temperatures, muggy.  One could feel the conditions were ripe for big thunderstorms and maybe tornadoes.  As a child, I was overly afraid of storms, even an innocent dark cloud would send me under the covers.  I decided this particular day, that I would not pass this irrational fear to my children.

I laid my children down for their afternoon nap.  Fans running to try to stay cool in our unairconditioned home.  I kept an eye on the weather by watching the local news stations and radar.  Sure enough, a large storm was making a bee line for our neighborhood.  I stayed calm and remained alert.

The baby awoke first, wearing only a diaper, I placed her in her highchair to feed her.  I noticed the water coming in the back storm door.  I checked to make sure I had closed the window, which I had, and closed the heavier interior door.  My phone rang, it was my mom, wondering if I was doing okay, knowing my fear of storms.  I assured her all was well - remember I was not going to pass on my fear.   Then I glanced out the window, something was amiss, the shed didn't look right.  I called my mom asking her to come over after the storm, I thought we would likely need her as I thought something was 'wrong' with the shed.  The sirens started wailing near her home, she shrieked we all needed to head for cover... she lives a short three miles away.  Our community does not have the sirens, but Mom's does have these warning devices.  Definitely not the day to 'stay calm', I should have been in the basement.  I later learned all the neighbors had taken shelter in their basements.

 

( Before )

I grabbed the baby and headed to my toddler's room to awaken her from her nap.  It was then that I saw the tree down.  Oh!  That was the "booming" sound I heard.  Upon opening the door to my daughter's room, she said, "Mommy, it's storming."  I affirmed her in her astuteness and hustled her to the basement, grabbing the diaper bag, which always had a few snacks in it, on my way down the stairs.  We remained in our old, musty, non-liveable basement for a bit.   I was thankful for that diaper bag with the snacks and a blanket to wrap my nearly naked baby in to ward off the basement chill.  I remember singing "This Little Light of Mine" with my babies.

The phone rang again... my mom wondering how we were and shooing me back to the basement as another wave of storms was to be passing through shortly.  I looked at the shed... definitely it was tilted.  I returned to the basement awaiting the all clear.  The all clear came from my mother bursting through the back door and my husband's arrival home from work.

Remember my prayer of protection?  My husband was driving home during this weather, his timing was such that he missed the hail that caused considerable damage to other motorists, he missed the horrible winds, drove in mostly rain.  God protected him on his commute.



Recall my desire to put the car in the shed?  The garage was untouched.  But the shed was pushed 10 feet off it's foundation.  It definitely did not look 'right'.  The only reason it was standing was the roof was resting and being upheld by the smoke stack on the tractor.  The building was a total loss.  A sad event as it was a historical building, at one time having been a one room school house, moved and converted to a shed.  As we tore down the building, we saved the square nails that it had been used for its construction.  The shed is on the NW corner of our property.  God protected our car and our hobby farm equipment and tools.

 

We also lost 14, 50 foot pine trees, uprooted and laying across the lawn.  The majestic beauties stood in a line in our front yard from the road to the house on the SE side.  Two trees remain standing today, the two that would have fallen on our home crushing the bedroom where my daughter lay napping.  Closer to the house near, infront of those two trees was a huge Box Elder tree that lost branches in any heavy breeze, did not topple nor lose a branch.  God protected my daughter.

                                    (fallen trees)

                                                                                                     (fallen trees root balls)

On all sides damage had been done to our property.  In the middle stood our home which was completely untouched, not a shingle lost.  I had pulled, the previous day, a tumble weed looking old plant -  it lay on the grass where I left it.   The garage where the car was sheltered unscathed.  God protected our home.

The power?  Well, we had power, sort of.  When the shed was pushed off it's foundation it pushed against the guide wire to one of the power poles, making it lean and pulling taut all the power lines to the house.  They did not snap, but it was a precarious situation.  It was not safe to use the electricity. God protected us from live, broken power lines and potential fire.

An incredible testimony to God's faithfulness in our lives.  We have built a new shed and replanted trees.  But we remember His hand of protection always as we look at the remaining two trees tower over our house.

471 miles for a hug

471 miles.  That is all that stood between me and my friend, S.  Initially, I did not realize that only 471 miles would be separating us on a particular weekend in May.  Usually we have are separated by 4,400 miles.  4,400 miles that cannot be driven as an ocean stands in the way, airplanes or ships are required to connect us.  But 471 miles on the same continent in the same country, this was something I could conquer with my SUV.    

Who is S?   Why would I travel 4,400 miles or 471 miles to see her?  S is a friend, a confidant, a sister.  She and I, in a very short period, formed bonds of friendship that last a lifetime.  A friend who has seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty.    Together we have experienced infants, pregnancy, toddlers, low incomes, tears, laughter, sleepless nights, tragedies, joys, dreams, fears, disappointments, and celebrations.  Sounds like a lifetime, doesn't it?  Yet most of our friendship has been spent separated by 4,400 miles.

We met when my oldest daughter was a mere three weeks old.  I walked through the doors of our community church for a ladies Bible study.  A new mom, lonely, and desperate for friends.  Until my daughter had been born I worked full-time, commuting 35 miles one way.  I had not developed friends in my community.  Suddenly I was home full time and very lonely.  I bravely entered the doors of the church. 

I was not new to church or Bible studies.  I grew up in a Christian home.  But as a young adult, church going was not a priority, we were too busy working and 'starting our lives'.  We had not found a local church home prior to our daughter's birth.   Accustomed to leaving the home everyday to go to work, I was lonely and tired of the four walls.  I screwed up my courage and went to the mid-week morning, ladies Bible study with my tiny baby.

Babies attract attention!  I was greeted, my baby ooohed and aaaahed.  And in the small gathering was a young lady with a very round belly.  This turned out to be S.  She was expecting her first child in two months.  She was drawn to my tiny infant and I to another person in my peer group.  Our friendship was off and running. 

We experienced all the wonders of being mothers of infants together.   We were each other's lifeline during those days.  Our girls were 'instant' friends.  We attended classes together, took walks, to garage sales, and enjoyed watching our children grow and develop.  It wasn't long before we were dreaming of more children and devised a plan to add on to each of our families at the same time.  Nothing to bond women together than pregnancy!  Our plan succeeded... I became pregnant with our second daughter and she became pregnant with twins!  Shortly we had five children under the age of two between us.  The fun was just beginning.

We had many adventures together with those babies and other babies as she did daycare for two other families.    She a youth pastor's wife as well in our church, we tackled a few ministry tasks together as well.  Big, round, pregnant with toddlers in tow we ran Vacation Bible School - without air conditioning in August!  Ahh the memories.

S and her husband were missionary candidates, their time in my local church was coming to an end.  Shortly they were called to an over seas assignment.  We had become friends and sisters in a brief three years.  But our friendship did not cease.  I made room in our budget for over seas phone calls, mailing packages and visits to  their new home - once with a with preschooler, another with two elementary aged children along.  I have prayed for them, supported them, and loved them from afar.  I have been blessed by her friendship, my world expanded beyond my small town, state, and country borders.

So when 471 miles separated us... I made my way to give her a hug in person.  Just another adventure in our friendship.  Before our friendship I had not run a VBS program, been out of the country, or driven by myself as the only driver 471 miles.  There is always a first time for everything.  Sharing a conversation and hug is definitely worth all the scariness of new adventures and 471 miles!

Unexpected Adventure = Mother-Daughter Time

Today I am preparing to leave on a road trip.  I think I put too much pressure on myself in my preparations.  I like to leave a clean, mostly organized house.  Why?  When returning there is usually a chaos of stuff  coming into the house, which if put on top of a mess would make me nutty!  If we depart with organization and cleanliness it allows me to relax and rest upon my return.  Make sense?

This process of preparation usually drives my family nutty, remember I live in  Forest of Crazy.  I tend to get wound up and go non-stop, jumping from one thing to the next.  I understand why the family gets frustrated, I don't really like it myself.  I have tried to tame this beast and have made some progress, I think.  Maybe should I should ask the family?

I have spent the last few days trying to get the lawn mowed.  It is obnoxiously long and must be cut or it will be out of control.  Problem is that it continues to rain so getting it done has been a challenge.  Last night, I was attempting to mow the last two sections when the squealing began, ending my mowing.  Hubby declared it a bearing issue... a new part has been purchased.  Alas, hubby may need to do finish the mowing.

This is the longest road trip I am undertaking without my hubby.  I will be traveling with my youngest daughter, DD#2, who is a lovely 13 years old.  I am excited to get away with her, spend one-on-one time, find our way on an adventure.  In essence mother-daughter bonding.  Leaving behind DD#1 and hubby for some of their own bonding time. 

On the first leg of our journey we are joined by hubby's sister, E, and her adorable 7.5 month old baby L.  They are the ones that began this whole adventure.   A casual comment from E telling me was going to visit her aunt with L, a five hour journey.  Thinking she was brave to travel that distance alone with a baby, I asked if she wanted company.  Now we are a day away from departing.

This is the only part of the journey with E and L.  They will be joined by brother-in-law, G, the following evening where they will continue on with their own weekend adventure.  As this trip developed, I realized that my very good friend would be in the states the same weekend.  This is significant as she is a missionary serving over seas. In visiting Auntie, I realized I would be within four hours of her location!!  Whoo Hoo! 

The plan is to spend one night with Auntie, depart the following morning to meet up with S.  Yet it gets better.  S is attending our church domination bi-annual conference.  I did not think this was something for me, as I figured it was for the missionaries, pastors, and church leaders.  But I discovered I was wrong - I can attend as well.  Hear the incredible speakers - Ravi Zacharias and John Stumbo, Gracia Burnham, & more.  My pastor's wife was able to obtain tickets for us to attend the popular ladies luncheon.  How cool is this deal?  Not only do I get to connect with S, I get to attend an incredible conference.  AND I get to share it with DD#2. 

I have been tickled at DD#2's excitement.  I wasn't certain that she would be excited about a church event geared mostly for adults.  She has proven me wrong, counting down the days to our departure.  She is a great companion.  I am anticipating some fun memories.  She already knows her mom is the queen of turn arounds, so we should travel together just fine. 

Feeling very blessed to be able to go on this adventure.  An unexpected adventure to be sure, but I think these are the best kind, don't you?  So now the house is mostly clean, the lawn mostly mowed, the clothes are packed, and the departure is near.  Excited to spend time with DD#2, E, L, Auntie, & S.  Most importantly looking forward to what the Lord has planned for us.

Walking - It makes a heart healthy

Yes, I know, another post about walking.  How can I possibly have more to say about walking?  A dozen years of regular walking and most of that time with my neighbor and friend, leaves me with lots of memories.   Walking about three miles, as many days as possible, has made my heart healthier.  It has also greatly improved my mental health. 

The past weekend was full of rain and stormy weather.  The weekend of the tornadoes that devastated Minneapolis, MN and Joplin, MO.  Our family spent time in the basement hiding from the severe weather or closely watching the radar to make an escape to the basement.  But in the evening of Sunday, the skies cleared allowing an opportunity to go for a walk and visit with my walking partner.  We had a lot to catch up on from the weekend!

We made our way down the familiar road, dodging a few left over raindrops and avoiding mud puddles.  As we walked we caught up on the activities of the weekend.  Exercising our bodies, improving our physical health simultaneously improving our mental health.  I am so thankful for my dear friend - M, her listening ear, observant eyes, wise thoughts, and witty sense of humor.

We turned the corner on our familiar loop.  Mid-step I stopped, gasped, and pointed at the most incredible rainbow.   We both stood in awe at the incredible, vivid rainbow that looked as it ended in the field just mere feet away.  We then spotted the second rainbow.  Knowing I usually carry my phone that is so fancy as to have a camera, M suggested I take a picture. 

Peer closely at the end of the rainbow, it appears to end just there in the field behind the shed.  We did not spot a leprechaun nor a pot of gold, not even a pot of Skittles.  :)

M then thought we should have a picture of the two of us with the rainbow in the background.  It turned into a laughing, silly activity as we both battled the phone camera to capture our desired photo.  Below see our results.... 

"Uh, did it take, um wait, oh yeah, oops"

We made several more attempts to capture this desired photo, amidst much laughter...  here is our next best result:

Clearly, we are technology challenged!   But we have healthy hearts and saner minds... I think.

And we forgot the dog in the picture.  Ha!

Conflicts in Marriage

How do you handle a conflict or difference of opinion in a marriage relationship?  That has been my challenge recently.  My beloved and I approach most things in a completely different manner.  We do not think in the same way.  Sometimes we will arrive at the same conclusion but just as often we do not.  Both of us must articulate our thoughts to 'make our case' to each other.

It is said that opposites attract!  That is true in our relationship.  Hubby is an engineer, very systematic, logical, linear, and thorough in his thought process.    He is very knowledgeable and articulate.  Usually what comes out of his mouth has been thought out before it is even considered to be uttered past his lips.  He can analyze a situation and usually has very valid points for his opinion (even if I happen to disagree with him).

I am very scattered in my thoughts.  I have a tendency to latch onto one idea or statement.  I do not think thoroughly or sequentially.  Next to hubby, I often feel like my head is full of fluff and stuff.  I just do not have the same ability to analyze as he.  His depth of knowledge and ability to quickly learn is not my gifting but I make up for it in enthusiasm.   I can visualize the final product but not so much  the steps that it takes to get there.  I am quick in my thought process and just as quick to speak it. 

So very different.  It makes life interesting.  While pregnant with our oldest daughter, we renovated her bedroom.  It was completely gutted to the studs and rebuilt.  Many minute details and decisions have to be made in remodeling.  This can lead to some intense conversations between my beloved and I.  One particular decision was a light/ceiling fan fixture for the room.  We spent most of the pregnancy looking at countless fixtures.  Trying to find one we both liked.    Now to the above thought process add pregnancy hormones.  You can imagine the fun we had during that time!!  Finally we found one and it is likely to never come off the ceiling. 

Remodeling is difficult in the best of circumstances.  It has tried our relationship and marriage.  I remember telling him I never wanted to build a home.  Instead we bought an old home that is requiring remodeling.  UGH!  Have I mentioned the endless decisions?  Hubby has taken things into his own hands and not even given me the opportunity on quite a few of the details.  Most of the time I am okay with this but not always - - depends on the mood, I guess.  The best solution he has come up with is to narrow the selection down to 2-4 choices.  I then am much better able to make a decision.  Although, more than once I have frustrated him with not liking anything. 

Our  most recent discussion item hasn't been in remodeling or construction.  Although that process has helped us both learn how to talk to one another.  This time it is over life and home management and planning.  Again, we approached it from opposite directions.  And again, we struggled to find common ground and understanding.  And again, it took time.  Yet, we are making process.  Slowly but surely.

It really is about listening and compromise.  A marital relationship requires humility, selflessness, listening , and respect.  I rediscover over and over again those qualities will always keep the love alive.  Without those things in your relationship, love is squelched and has a difficult time flourishing.    (*wink* Hiring a designer to help in the remodeling process is also a marriage saver.)

Walk, walk, walk part 2

My neighbor and I are resuming our regular walking schedule now that the roads are not ice and snow covered and the temperatures are a bit milder. It is later than usual this year with the extended winter and we are not as hardy as we were in our younger years. O-dark hundred is not as dark with the summer equinox approaching. I am now returning home as dawn is approaching.

I realized that my inky dark days on the road are over. When we started our walking journey all those years ago, there was only one house and a swamp between my home and hers. The trek to her house was sometimes very black on moonless, cloud covered mornings. As the years have passed three homes have been built on that stretch. One of these new homes has a security light on the garage which is on all night long. Sadly, it's light pollution dampens star and planet gazing, but a full moon can have the same effect! But it does provide light along the path to meet in the pre-dawn darkness.

We have walked in all kinds of weather. Our goal is to walk April through Thanksgiving. Some years were mild and we could walk as early as March and as late as December, other years have been colder and snowier ending our walking before November or delaying our start in the Spring. Sometimes illness or injury interrupts our walking. But we strive to exercise to keep our hearts healthy and the pounds off.

The challenge is identifying the weather at 0-dark hundred. To make that quiet phone call to cancel due to rain or lightning has been spotted. Other times it is rather obvious when thunder rattles the windows and lightning turns the night into day. There have been days when I walked out the door into rain to turn around to make that phone call and crawl back into bed.

We laughed one year as we each gave the other rain suits and ponchos as birthday gifts. Rain is usually our biggest weather challenge. We have walked in lots of rain: misty, drippy, downpours, scattered drops, intermittent, stormy. Neither of us are fond of lightning and try to avoid being out in it but sometimes it sneaks up on us. I am not fond of thunder either, makes me jumpy. Where's there thunder I figure lightning is nearby too.

We have monitored the skies, watching storms in the distance. We try to determine the direction they are moving and gauge if we can make it. There have been a few deliberate walks in the misty rain. And there has been at least one mad dash as we ran, caught in a down pour. We carry cell phones these days in case we have mis-judged the weather but I don't recall actually calling for a rescue pick up. We haven't melted yet, just been soaked to the bone.

Our other challenge is snow and ice. Half of our walk is on a gravel road without a shoulder. We have tried different boots, ice grabbers for our shoes, walking sticks to help assist us on the slipperiness. But really the danger comes if a car were to start sliding, there is no where to go. So we usually avoid walking in these conditions, especially in the dark.

O-Dark Hundred has it advantages. Usually the winds are calm before dawn. Even cold mornings can be quite pleasant without the wind creating a wind-chill. Cold air clears the atmosphere and the stars are all the more brilliant. Warm, humid summer days are much more tolerable before the sun rises adding to the heat index. Early enough to usually avoid the bugs which come out in swarms upon sunrise.

Living in the upper mid-west does have it's challenges with the weather. We have been known to have all four seasons in a day. This year we had snow two days one week followed by humidity and heat with severe storms the next week. We have learned to walk in all sorts of weather and to keep an eye on the sky.