Tapestry of Prayer

I have been pondering a lot lately.  Many events are taking place world wide as well in my own life.  Change is a part of life and I don't always take change well.  Although I recently admitted to a friend that I sure do instigate a lot of change for someone who doesn't like change.  There is a paradox for you. 

I commute my daughter to and from school each day, the 25 minutes in the car each morning and afternoon leave my mind to wondering.  This morning I was spent time thinking about prayer and praying for one another.  Prayer is Biblical.  Jesus prayed, He prayed for others.... me in fact, He taught us to pray, He instructed us to pray for one another, He even instructed to pray for our enemies. 

It led me to wondering about all these prayers.  I fail to understand how God hears and answers all these infinite number of prayers offered up each and everyday.  But I have faith that He,the Alpha and Omega, is ever present, ever hearing, and can hear all and see all.  I also have faith that He always has been and always will be - - yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

So I went down a rabbit trail of wondering as to what our prayers might look like in a tapestry. 

Revelation 5:8 (NIV) says that our prayers are an incense: 

And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. 

But what about a tapestry?  Do our prayers make a tapestry?  Woven in colors in a person's life or the world's existence.  I picture prayers of forgiveness in crimson red as they are covered by Christ's blood shed on the cross; bright jewel hues of praise and thanksgiving; beautiful and brilliant neons of obedience; intense and deep colors of prayers cried out in anguish; a rainbow of pastels of petitions in seeking God; clean and bright white prayers of righteousness; and purples with indigoes of the prayers of Jesus and the Holy Spirit.    My mind has created a lovely and beautiful picture of colorful prayers woven together.   I just wonder if there is something like that awaiting for us to view in Heaven; to show us how God has worked it out in our lives.

I anxiously await Heaven, to meet Jesus face to face, bow at His feet and profess my thanksgiving to bridging the gap of separation between I and His Father, granting me access to this wonderful place called Heaven.  I want to meet so many people of the Bible such as Ruth, Esther, Mary, Mary's parents, Paul, to name a few.  My list of those that I can't wait to be reunited with is lengthy and include grandparents and friends.  To have an end of pain and sorrow, to live the fashion that God intended before sin.  I am so anxious I can't stand it at times. 

For now I must satisfy myself of what the Bible tells me of Heaven.  But a girl can dream a little, can't she?

Complain? Maybe Not...

This morning I woke up to March like weather.  Temperatures in the 30s, cold, snowy, sleety, rainy, cloudy, dreary weather.  Much like yesterday.  One would not suspect that it is the beginning of May. Oh, there have been a few days of teasing that Spring is here but they are few and far inbetween.

Now, it is not many degrees below zero or even below freezing.  Well, almost not below freezing, this morning's 31 degrees in technically below freezing.  I am not shoveling the snow, as family in western ND is doing after their May Day blizzard.  I am not wearing a parka, gloves, hat, scarf, long underwear, heavy socks, and boots to go out the door.  Yet, this is getting old, this winter like weather.  It is dreary, it is wet, it is cold.  Our already short gardening season is shrinking. 

I have been considering complaining.  And I could complain I suppose.  Yet, my perspective has been tweaked just a wee bit. 

You see:

 I could be sand bagging and pumping water, fighting a flood.  Instead, I am heating my house with hot water based heat.

 I could be standing in shambles of a home following severe storms and tornados.  Instead I am dusting and vacuuming and shoving my junk around my already over-stuffed house.

I could be hearing the weather forecast under a storm watch wondering if it is now my turn.  Instead I am just wondering if Spring will have a chance this year.

I could be living in a shelter and wondering how to recover from a tsunami that has destroyed my whole way of life.  Instead I am praying for those affected.

I could be  fearing the next tremor will strike bringing down already unstable, shaken structures I call home.  Instead I am writing this blog atop solid footing (I think).

 I could be looking to the sky praying for rain to end the drought.  Instead I am seeing rain in my forecast and watching the grass turn green.

I could be scrounging, looking for  my next meal, worried about my children's malnutrition.  Instead I am on a diet trying to lose too many extra pounds.

I could be living under oppression.  Instead I still live in the best country in the world, even if I am scared for our future.

I could be mourning the death of loved ones lost to illness or tragedy.  Instead I am hugging my own near and telling them I love them.

My perspective has been tweaked.  I really do not have much to complain about where the weather is concerned, or really anything else for the matter.  Going about my day thankful for the opportunity to clean, diet, wear a sweatshirt, and hug the ones I love.

Hunger and Hope

This morning, I was sitting on the sofa recovering from our mini-vacation.  Basically being a couch potato.  Still in my pajamas, not moving fast, watching TV, drinking coffee, hanging out on Facebook, and re-stylizing my blog.  How do you like the new look, by the way?   

My husband had asked me yesterday if we had anything going on today, which I responded with a negative, except for the church drama practice in the evening.  So, I was enjoying doing nothing.  It is Spring Break after all. 

On a random whim, I checked my calendar.  It's online, easily accessible from any electronic device in my possession.  I also print it out regularly and post to be viewed by all family members.  My problem is not in putting things on the calendar as much as looking at the calendar.  I am constantly double booking myself or forgetting things because I think I have it all in my head.  I really do need to understand that my memory is not as young and agile as it once was in years past.  Note to self, you are middle aged now, nothing is as it once was.

Anyway, I looked at our calendar only to gasp!  We are signed up to volunteer, as a family, this afternoon at a local food distribution.  Oops!  How did we all forget?  Especially since DD#1 regularly participates in this with school for community service hours.  UGH!  I was not feeling very energized by the thought.  I am pooped!  But we had signed up realizing that with the Easter holiday and Spring Break extra hands are needed. 

We got up off our rear ends and made ready to go.  This being the first time for all us except for DD#1, we were not certain what to expect.  In fact, there was uncertainty as to what time we were to arrive.  We arrived a couple of hours prior to the start of the distribution.  People were already lining up outside the doors, waiting in the cold wind for the food. 

We were put to work opening boxes and redistributing some of the items.  The quantity and selection of the food was impressive.  Frozen items, produce, meat, canned good, even some children's birthday bags.  All the volunteers were gathered shortly before door opening.  We were given brief instructions and we prayed.

For over 90 minutes we handed out food to hundreds of people.   Each time I looked up from my station of handing out canned goods, I saw a constant stream of people, it did not seem to end.  Young, old, tired, every ethnicity, every walk of life and in my community.  A few times I looked into the face of someone that could be me.  On the street, anywhere else,  I would never guess they were any more needy than I.  A few that I know personally came through: some helping others, some for themselves. 

I did my best to offer a smile and a kind word to each one that came through, treating each with the dignity they deserve.   Some were trying to hide being uncomfortable going through the line, others were too tired and weary to care what anyone thought of them.  Some did not speak English well, as I was handing out an item that is a definite like or dislike, I did my best to communicate with them to give them option of taking it or not. 

Once I found my rhythm in handing out the items, I had a chance to purposefully and specifically pray.  I prayed to see each of them with the eyes of Jesus.  That my words and actions would convey the love of Jesus.  I prayed each would find hope and a bit of cheer.  That there would be something... a word or item in the cart that would give them joy on this Easter holiday.  I pray that each would know Jesus' love and joy.

There are hurting people everywhere, from every walk of life.  Poor, rich, young, old, healthy, sick, every race.  Our current economy is finding more in the area of need.  Some who never thought they would be in such a position.  Frankly, we are just one job away from being in a very similar predicament.  I am thankful everyday for the my husband's job and all that it provides for our family.  It is not something to take for granted.

For many years, my family has packaged food with an organization called Feed My Starving Children.  (www.fmsc.org) We have helped to feed starving children around the world.  This gives us the opportunity to help those in our community, in our backyard, those that are not that very different from our own family.

Will I return?  Yes.  It is hard work, my body aches from shifting and moving canned goods.  But that is nothing, I will recover soon.  It is a minuscule sacrifice to know that a simple act can bring hope.

Parenting Acrostic

I had the privilege of sharing a short talk/devotion at my sister-in-law's baby shower. This is what I shared with everyone:

PARENTING

P is for prayer. Parenting is praying. It is our highest calling and greatest privilege to pray for our child. Seeking God’s guidance, wisdom for this child placed in your responsibility.

A is for advocate. As a parent, you alone will feel the deep desire for success, care, love, etc of your child.
You are their biggest cheerleader, bully, protector, strongest VOICE for your child. Advocate for your child’s well being, education, friends, etc.

R is for rejoice. Rejoice in your child, in each and every stage. Celebrate who he/she is, her/his accomplishments. Sometimes a child is not who you dreamed it would be – rejoice in how God made him/her.

E is for exhaustion. Parenting takes a lot of energy. Sleepless nights, continuous motion, activities, projects, chasing after small legs that never seem to tire. Take care of yourself to keep up with this bundle of energy.

N is for nurturing. Providing for the needs of food, shelter, love, security. Take care of your relationship with the Lord, your marriage, yourself, your children. One of the very best to give your child stability and security… keep your marriage important, your family strong.

T is for Teaching/Training. A parent is a child’s first, ever present, and most powerful teacher. It begins with learning how to eat, sleep, talk, walk, sit down, be quite, manners, behavior. Balance with love and discipline. Discipline is as important as love.

I is for Intuition. A parent’s “gut” is God given! You are more in tune with your child than anyone else. Listen to it and if necessary make others listen to it!

N is for Never..give up. Each child is precious and parenting will likely be your most challenging job. Through any situation with your child - NEVER give up. God put this child into your life know you were the perfect parent! Take a break for a weekend (many willing to help you) but never give up.

G is for Go. Go back to prayer. When you think you have prayed enough, go back and pray again.


Now for the 'fun' acrostic:

P = peeing, pooping, puking
A = accidents
R = running
E = exhaustion
N = naps
T = teasing
I = imagination
N = naps
G = giggles

Who's that in the mirror?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered who you were seeing? Maybe felt confident, assured but then something rocked your core? Have you wondered and considered why all of the sudden you can't cope as usual? Who is this person in the mirror?

This week, I have looked in the mirror, the inner mirror and wondered who I am? From where did this stem? Well, I adopted a dog. She is bigger than I had intended, was a little impulsive and brought this 80 pound, not as mellow as was told, dog into my home. I asked all sorts of questions, except the cat question. I have cats, what was I thinking?

Gracie is an 80 pound, 4.5 year old, lab/springer mix dog. A city dog that has not seen much wild life much less a cat. My home is small and an active, hyper, cat fixated dog is messing with my nerves! I haven't eaten, slept much at all in 4 days. Great weight loss program but not recommended.

But I wonder, why am I not coping? It is change, but I brought this change upon myself. Both of my children fell in love with her and when I discussed with them the idea that Gracie may be able to stay with us - they burst into tears. I was particularly surprised by DD#1's reaction. She wasn't sure about a dog in previous discussions but now is in total adoration of Gracie.

What is a mother to do? DH who wasn't desiring a dog, has been incredibly supportive! Discussing underground fence and other ideas to smooth things over.

But my anxiety! I have never felt like this previously. I am high strung and prone to over think and over react. But this is different, usually I eat and eat under stress; now I can't hardly tolerate food. My thoughts are racing, my chest hurts, I feel sick to my stomach.... I have wondered if I am losing my mind.

I have family members who deal with high anxiety. DH has suggested that God is using this experience to give me greater empathy. So is this a lesson from God's book? DD#1 likes having a constant companion (now for Gracie to bond with her more than I).

I have much to work through... live in the moment, deal with the things that concern me as they come, not worry about the future, not over-reactive, find the positives, breathe deep, relax, talk to the Lord, and stay focused on Him.

Already, Gracie is teaching us the importance of exercise, routine, calm assertiveness, living in the moment.

More lessons to come.... now for the cats and dog to sort out their dominance *sigh*

Highest Civic Duty

Tomorrow we have elections here in our nation. A day that we can actively participate in our government process. A privilege not to be taken for granted. Many men & women have sacrificed their lives for this privilege.

Last week, I was discussing the election with my DDs. Being too young to vote, they are on the side-lines watching and learning. As parents we are trying to include our children and discuss some of the issues and explain the process to the best of our ability. Of course they are exposed over and over to the commercials and advertisements in the mail - not to mention the phone calls. However, in our discussion, it occurred to me they can participate, in fact, it is our highest civic calling which is to pray. No matter your age or voting eligibility, political leaning, social status, economic status, or nationality anyone can participate in this election. They can bring our nation to the feet of Jesus in prayer. This is our highest civic calling.

Have I prayed enough for our country or leaders? No! I never pray enough. The verse that challenges me is to pray without ceasing. Continue to pray for our nation those who lead us.