Only need to ask

In the same line of thinking of when God revealed Himself in a real and tangible way, I recalled another incident. I am ashamed at my failure to remember God's faithfulness especially when I am feeling like my prayers are going no further than the ceiling. I am saddened when I consider all the times God has intervened and I failed to acknowledge Him. Truth is that God is always working in my life, seen and unseen. Truth is that God has promised to never nor forsake me.

It was our anniversary. We had planned for our children to spend some time with their uncle while we celebrated. We made plans, I do not recall exactly what those plans were but probably dinner and a quiet evening together, our budget being rather scant. The day or so before, hubby started to complain of not feeling very well. Believing it was likely a flu bug I didn't give it much thought, he would recover quickly.

Friday arrived, hubby stayed home from work ill and going more downhill as the day progressed. He was drinking fluids and resting to fight the 'bug.' Disappointed, I canceled our plans and settled in to be a nursemaid. Hubby is not one to go to the doctor, he has to be extremely ill or in severe pain to consider such a visit.  Day turned into night and still he was not feeling any better.  I teased him he didn’t need to get ill to express his displeasure in our plans.

Very early the next morning, he awakened me to take him into urgent care.  "Wow," I thought, "he must really be feeling awful."  He then revealed to me that despite drinking massive quantities of water, he could not urinate.  This information propelled me out of bed and into motion. 

Still very early, much before the polite hour to call another's home, I called my parents to arrange child care for our children.  Thankfully, my dad is an early riser, but I think I got him out of bed on a Saturday at this early hour.  He arrived shortly thereafter, and I packaged my shivering yet sweating and hobbling husband into the car.  Urgent care is first come first serve.  Suffice it to say we were first, as we waited 30 minutes in the parking lot waiting for the clinic to open.

I was becoming more concerned by the minute.  He was walking like an elderly man and very pallid.  In the waiting room I tried to keep him warm as the chills wracked his body in waves.  He was asked for a urine sample, which was impossible.  He was diagnosed with a prostate infection which can be treated with antibiotics.  But it was very worrisome that he had not been able 'to go' for over 12 hours and he had taken in two quarts of liquid.  He was sent for an MRI - I think it was an MRI anyway, to look for any blockage.

The imaging clinic was across the street, I helped him to the car and out again and into the clinic.  I planted him in the nearest chair and checked him in for the test.  He was given some barium (brain is fuzzy on the substance) to drink.  It was a several hour process… drink this much now and this much more later.  Poor guy, it was horrible tasting and he was miserable and uncomfortable. 

Sitting in the chair, I watched my husband fade before my eyes.  I finally approached the desk and asked if they had an examining table or bed he could lie on and blankets.  By now the chills were non stop.  His color was very disturbing.   Needless to say, I was becoming frightened.  They kindly found him a gurney, a room, and blankets.

By now it was lunch time, he sent me out to pick up his prescriptions so that when the test was complete I could just take him home without needing to stop for medicines.  I reluctantly left his side.  I put in the order for his meds at pharmacy in the big box store.  As I waited, I did some shopping for band aids for my youngest, she was always in need of band aids for real and imagined boo-boos.  Funny how I remember finding Strawberry Shortcake band aids for her.

I called to check in on the girls and to give the report of hubby's condition.  I was teary as I expressed his condition and my concern.  Mom then asked me if I has put him on the church prayer chain.  Duh!  I had not thought of that, I was so caught up in caring for him.  I, of course, had been praying but did not think of including the body of Christ, so caught up in caring for him.  She offered to make the call for me and we hung up.

I received the medicines from the pharmacy, grabbed a sandwich, and rushed back to his side.  I was anxious to return to him.  He was not any better than when I left him.  I ate my lunch, called his parents, and prayed over him.  About 30 minutes later, within 60  minutes of putting him on the prayer chain, he informed me he needed to use the bathroom.  Really?!  A nurse and I assisted him to the restroom with the use of a wheelchair, as I recall.  It was a 'productive' visit to the restroom!  Immediately, he began to feel a bit better and his coloring improved.  They continued with the test, saw nothing, sent him home. He was ill for about a week, it takes a while to recover from such an infection. 

 

I believe that God intervened on his behalf.  Yes, it could have been the stuff they gave him to drink that cleared some sort of blockage.  But I believe that God can use that in His healing process if He chooses.  I am more interested in the timing of when the change occurred.  It was shortly after a call for prayer.  I am ashamed that I had not asked for prayer earlier.  I do not believe it was coincidence that hubby improved as we sought prayer support.  God is all knowing, He knew what we were going through, He was waiting and willing to assist.  We only needed to ask.  Something to remember and never forget.

Do you see that car?

My last post I described how God protected us during a severe storm in 1998.  This got me to thinking about other times God has been clearly evident in my life.  I wish I have been more diligent in writing things down in the past, I am guilty of thinking I will remember and not forget.  But alas, I am human, and thus have a short memory.  Which is why history is doomed to repeat itself over and over again.  In the Bible God's people were instructed over and over again, to build a moment, pass it down to the children, remember .... remember God's faithfulness. 

To memory came another incident where I prayed and God answered.  Had it not been for my daughter in the car, I may have missed His answer and then failed to thank Him and praise Him for caring for us.  All too often, I rely on myself or think of it as coincidence when really it is God taking a very tangible and real role in my life. 

This particular day I was about 50 miles away from home with my two daughters.  I had taken them to a conference for young girls on being a Bright Light for the Lord.  A February day in the upper mid-west can range from sunshine - rain - freezing rain - snow - blizzard.  The conference was held in the southern metro area and I live past the northern edge of the metro area. 

The day started out with rain and developed into freezing rain, at least where I was at in the southern metro area.  I went out at lunch and cleared the windows of the ice developing which turned out to be very wise.  Many others at the end of the day were chipping away at inch or more thick layer of ice on their windows.  My ice layer at the end of the day was considerably thinner due to my previous clearing.  We set out for the drive home which would typically take about an hour.

It was late afternoon when we left.  There was still daylight and although the driving was slow I could see the road and other vehicles in the remaining daylight.  As we drove north the freezing rain turned into snow.  The interstate was crawling along at about 25 mph.  Our drive extended into the second hour as we carefully made our way home. 

Twilight fell as I turned off the main, well traveled interstates and freeways onto the county roads that lead to my home.  The traveling became more slow and careful.  Soon it was dark and the snow was falling heavily and we had passed the two hour mark on our drive.  In a rural area, on a country road in the dark, I could no longer distinguish the ditch from the road.  Gripping the wheel and white knuckled, I prayed aloud something to the effect of "Lord, I can't see the road, please take the wheel and drive us safely home, show the path, in Jesus Name."  I returned to giving my full concentration to driving.

Shortly, a car appeared on the road ahead of us.  I could see its taillights and the tire path on the road ahead of me.  I did not recognize what was occurring ahead of me or how much easier the driving (relatively speaking) had become with the existence of this vehicle.  My daughter from the back seat who was leaning forward trying to assist in identifying the road boundaries, exclaimed "Mom, that car is showing us the way, just as you prayed!"  She was so right and I nearly missed it!!

We continued the final miles to our home following this car.  I was shocked when it turned down my street, a small gravel road.  It continued on down the road right past our driveway, literally showing me the way home.  I turned into the driveway full of about a foot or more of snow, where I promptly got stuck.  I sat back and with my girls thanked the Lord for providing a guide for our drive home and for getting us home safely.

I still am amazed each time I reflect on this event.   The car was not in front of me previously, we were alone on the road  - - a lonely country road.  I did not see a car pull out from a driveway or side road.  And I did not recognize a neighbor as it continued on down my street.  I wonder, did I see an angel?  I do not have the answers.  But I am convinced that it was placed there for me in answer to my prayer.  This was not a coincidence nor was it my own ability that got us home safely that night.

The Big Blow of '98

In 1998 a storm came through leaving damage behind.  We were fortunate the damage, although rather extensive, it did not touch our home.  We were front row witnesses of watching God's hand of protection on our home and family.

May 15, 1998 was a very warm and muggy day.  The forecast  called for potential severe weather.  I made some preparations for this potential: washing dishes, doing a load of laundry, filling buckets of water for toilets, made bottles for the baby, made room for my car in the garage.  I wanted to put my car in the shed as the garage floor was littered with toddler toys, but the tractor was in the way.  So I quickly cleared out the garage floor.  I figured this was the type of storm that we could lose power for a few hours, maybe a bit of hail.  Little did I know...

I spent the morning caring for my babies, preparing for 'potential' weather, and enjoying the beauty of the current weather.  I sat on the screen porch we then had journaling and praying.  I remember being thankful for our home, the beauty of our surroundings, and the wonderful life I was leading.  I also prayed for our protection, specifically protection of our home and lives should storms develop. 

The weather was ripe for storms, very warm, high 90s (F) temperatures, muggy.  One could feel the conditions were ripe for big thunderstorms and maybe tornadoes.  As a child, I was overly afraid of storms, even an innocent dark cloud would send me under the covers.  I decided this particular day, that I would not pass this irrational fear to my children.

I laid my children down for their afternoon nap.  Fans running to try to stay cool in our unairconditioned home.  I kept an eye on the weather by watching the local news stations and radar.  Sure enough, a large storm was making a bee line for our neighborhood.  I stayed calm and remained alert.

The baby awoke first, wearing only a diaper, I placed her in her highchair to feed her.  I noticed the water coming in the back storm door.  I checked to make sure I had closed the window, which I had, and closed the heavier interior door.  My phone rang, it was my mom, wondering if I was doing okay, knowing my fear of storms.  I assured her all was well - remember I was not going to pass on my fear.   Then I glanced out the window, something was amiss, the shed didn't look right.  I called my mom asking her to come over after the storm, I thought we would likely need her as I thought something was 'wrong' with the shed.  The sirens started wailing near her home, she shrieked we all needed to head for cover... she lives a short three miles away.  Our community does not have the sirens, but Mom's does have these warning devices.  Definitely not the day to 'stay calm', I should have been in the basement.  I later learned all the neighbors had taken shelter in their basements.

 

( Before )

I grabbed the baby and headed to my toddler's room to awaken her from her nap.  It was then that I saw the tree down.  Oh!  That was the "booming" sound I heard.  Upon opening the door to my daughter's room, she said, "Mommy, it's storming."  I affirmed her in her astuteness and hustled her to the basement, grabbing the diaper bag, which always had a few snacks in it, on my way down the stairs.  We remained in our old, musty, non-liveable basement for a bit.   I was thankful for that diaper bag with the snacks and a blanket to wrap my nearly naked baby in to ward off the basement chill.  I remember singing "This Little Light of Mine" with my babies.

The phone rang again... my mom wondering how we were and shooing me back to the basement as another wave of storms was to be passing through shortly.  I looked at the shed... definitely it was tilted.  I returned to the basement awaiting the all clear.  The all clear came from my mother bursting through the back door and my husband's arrival home from work.

Remember my prayer of protection?  My husband was driving home during this weather, his timing was such that he missed the hail that caused considerable damage to other motorists, he missed the horrible winds, drove in mostly rain.  God protected him on his commute.



Recall my desire to put the car in the shed?  The garage was untouched.  But the shed was pushed 10 feet off it's foundation.  It definitely did not look 'right'.  The only reason it was standing was the roof was resting and being upheld by the smoke stack on the tractor.  The building was a total loss.  A sad event as it was a historical building, at one time having been a one room school house, moved and converted to a shed.  As we tore down the building, we saved the square nails that it had been used for its construction.  The shed is on the NW corner of our property.  God protected our car and our hobby farm equipment and tools.

 

We also lost 14, 50 foot pine trees, uprooted and laying across the lawn.  The majestic beauties stood in a line in our front yard from the road to the house on the SE side.  Two trees remain standing today, the two that would have fallen on our home crushing the bedroom where my daughter lay napping.  Closer to the house near, infront of those two trees was a huge Box Elder tree that lost branches in any heavy breeze, did not topple nor lose a branch.  God protected my daughter.

                                    (fallen trees)

                                                                                                     (fallen trees root balls)

On all sides damage had been done to our property.  In the middle stood our home which was completely untouched, not a shingle lost.  I had pulled, the previous day, a tumble weed looking old plant -  it lay on the grass where I left it.   The garage where the car was sheltered unscathed.  God protected our home.

The power?  Well, we had power, sort of.  When the shed was pushed off it's foundation it pushed against the guide wire to one of the power poles, making it lean and pulling taut all the power lines to the house.  They did not snap, but it was a precarious situation.  It was not safe to use the electricity. God protected us from live, broken power lines and potential fire.

An incredible testimony to God's faithfulness in our lives.  We have built a new shed and replanted trees.  But we remember His hand of protection always as we look at the remaining two trees tower over our house.

471 miles for a hug

471 miles.  That is all that stood between me and my friend, S.  Initially, I did not realize that only 471 miles would be separating us on a particular weekend in May.  Usually we have are separated by 4,400 miles.  4,400 miles that cannot be driven as an ocean stands in the way, airplanes or ships are required to connect us.  But 471 miles on the same continent in the same country, this was something I could conquer with my SUV.    

Who is S?   Why would I travel 4,400 miles or 471 miles to see her?  S is a friend, a confidant, a sister.  She and I, in a very short period, formed bonds of friendship that last a lifetime.  A friend who has seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty.    Together we have experienced infants, pregnancy, toddlers, low incomes, tears, laughter, sleepless nights, tragedies, joys, dreams, fears, disappointments, and celebrations.  Sounds like a lifetime, doesn't it?  Yet most of our friendship has been spent separated by 4,400 miles.

We met when my oldest daughter was a mere three weeks old.  I walked through the doors of our community church for a ladies Bible study.  A new mom, lonely, and desperate for friends.  Until my daughter had been born I worked full-time, commuting 35 miles one way.  I had not developed friends in my community.  Suddenly I was home full time and very lonely.  I bravely entered the doors of the church. 

I was not new to church or Bible studies.  I grew up in a Christian home.  But as a young adult, church going was not a priority, we were too busy working and 'starting our lives'.  We had not found a local church home prior to our daughter's birth.   Accustomed to leaving the home everyday to go to work, I was lonely and tired of the four walls.  I screwed up my courage and went to the mid-week morning, ladies Bible study with my tiny baby.

Babies attract attention!  I was greeted, my baby ooohed and aaaahed.  And in the small gathering was a young lady with a very round belly.  This turned out to be S.  She was expecting her first child in two months.  She was drawn to my tiny infant and I to another person in my peer group.  Our friendship was off and running. 

We experienced all the wonders of being mothers of infants together.   We were each other's lifeline during those days.  Our girls were 'instant' friends.  We attended classes together, took walks, to garage sales, and enjoyed watching our children grow and develop.  It wasn't long before we were dreaming of more children and devised a plan to add on to each of our families at the same time.  Nothing to bond women together than pregnancy!  Our plan succeeded... I became pregnant with our second daughter and she became pregnant with twins!  Shortly we had five children under the age of two between us.  The fun was just beginning.

We had many adventures together with those babies and other babies as she did daycare for two other families.    She a youth pastor's wife as well in our church, we tackled a few ministry tasks together as well.  Big, round, pregnant with toddlers in tow we ran Vacation Bible School - without air conditioning in August!  Ahh the memories.

S and her husband were missionary candidates, their time in my local church was coming to an end.  Shortly they were called to an over seas assignment.  We had become friends and sisters in a brief three years.  But our friendship did not cease.  I made room in our budget for over seas phone calls, mailing packages and visits to  their new home - once with a with preschooler, another with two elementary aged children along.  I have prayed for them, supported them, and loved them from afar.  I have been blessed by her friendship, my world expanded beyond my small town, state, and country borders.

So when 471 miles separated us... I made my way to give her a hug in person.  Just another adventure in our friendship.  Before our friendship I had not run a VBS program, been out of the country, or driven by myself as the only driver 471 miles.  There is always a first time for everything.  Sharing a conversation and hug is definitely worth all the scariness of new adventures and 471 miles!

Walking - It makes a heart healthy

Yes, I know, another post about walking.  How can I possibly have more to say about walking?  A dozen years of regular walking and most of that time with my neighbor and friend, leaves me with lots of memories.   Walking about three miles, as many days as possible, has made my heart healthier.  It has also greatly improved my mental health. 

The past weekend was full of rain and stormy weather.  The weekend of the tornadoes that devastated Minneapolis, MN and Joplin, MO.  Our family spent time in the basement hiding from the severe weather or closely watching the radar to make an escape to the basement.  But in the evening of Sunday, the skies cleared allowing an opportunity to go for a walk and visit with my walking partner.  We had a lot to catch up on from the weekend!

We made our way down the familiar road, dodging a few left over raindrops and avoiding mud puddles.  As we walked we caught up on the activities of the weekend.  Exercising our bodies, improving our physical health simultaneously improving our mental health.  I am so thankful for my dear friend - M, her listening ear, observant eyes, wise thoughts, and witty sense of humor.

We turned the corner on our familiar loop.  Mid-step I stopped, gasped, and pointed at the most incredible rainbow.   We both stood in awe at the incredible, vivid rainbow that looked as it ended in the field just mere feet away.  We then spotted the second rainbow.  Knowing I usually carry my phone that is so fancy as to have a camera, M suggested I take a picture. 

Peer closely at the end of the rainbow, it appears to end just there in the field behind the shed.  We did not spot a leprechaun nor a pot of gold, not even a pot of Skittles.  :)

M then thought we should have a picture of the two of us with the rainbow in the background.  It turned into a laughing, silly activity as we both battled the phone camera to capture our desired photo.  Below see our results.... 

"Uh, did it take, um wait, oh yeah, oops"

We made several more attempts to capture this desired photo, amidst much laughter...  here is our next best result:

Clearly, we are technology challenged!   But we have healthy hearts and saner minds... I think.

And we forgot the dog in the picture.  Ha!

Grandparents - too few memories

I lost three quarters of my grandparents in my childhood and the other on in early adulthood.  I have felt a little cheated.  Being the youngest in my family and born a little later than my siblings, I have been jealous of the extra time they (my siblings) had with our grandparents.  Some of my peers have their grandparents or are just losing them now.  They have had the opportunity to know their grandparents and heritage.

My paternal grandfather passed away when I was just eight years old.  I have a few vivid memories of him.  He lived on the family farm.  I never knew the farm to be operational as he retired, sold the cattle just prior to my birth.  Grandpa was a big man.  Very tall - well over 6 feet, broad shouldered, and big feet.  (How would I know he had big feet?  We moved into the farm as a family following his death and I found his size 13 shoes!)  He seemed a giant to my little eyes.   I only knew of Grandpa to wear overalls.  The stripped, train engineer overalls.  He had at least two pair maybe three that hung on pegs.

 Not very old by today's standards as he was 70 at death, I remember him to be lumbering and leisurely in his movements, never in a hurry.  He gave me whisker rubs; pushed me on the tire swing; took me to town in his pick-up that he never drove over 40 mph; fried Thuringer Summer Sausage in a cast iron pan with a huge pat of butter; paid me a penny for every box elder bug I killed with a pair of pliers and deposited in a tin can, with the expectation those pennies go to the orphanage fund at church; and he sat in a stool chair by the window in the kitchen just behind Grandma's chair.  I remember his final gifts to me on that last Christmas, a teddy bear and a watch.  He died just a few weeks later during a bitter cold January.

My maternal grandfather passed away when I was 14.  He was the opposite in stature to my other grandfather.  Short and round, his growth stunted following a train and car accident in which he was a passenger in the car as a young boy.  His health was not very robust in my childhood, but I think he must have been busy, fast moving guy in his younger days.  That is how I would perceive him anyway.  Rather cantankerous and growlie, we grandchildren ran around his lawn chair or his recliner out of reach of his cane.  He had an interesting feature of a double thumb on one-hand.  He always wanted to play the thumb game which of course he won easily with those two thumbs.  He would holler "Ma!" to get Grandma's attention and stomp his foot at the dinner table indicating he was ready to start dinner.  He had lemon drops candy on his dresser which we children would snitch.

My paternal grandmother passed away when I was 15.  She had a significant influence on me.  I can't really pin point why that is exactly.  I have been told by many a person as I grown older that she was a special lady, a prayer warrior, and a living sermon.  Maybe I was intrigued by her as I moved into her home when Grandpa died.  She moved into the nursing home as she was crippled by rheumatoid arthritis and needed considerable assistance.  So crippled I never knew her to stand, always seated in her chair, limited in movements as the arthritis robbed her of her mobility.  I never once heard her complain about her circumstances but she did talk to me a lot about the day the Lord was going to heal her and she and I were going to play some ball - baseball that is and she would drive the pick-up.  She loved the Minnesota Twins and faithfully listened to their games on the radio.  She always had a radio at her side. 

In her home, she sat in a chair at the kitchen table, placed there by her loving husband each day.  She was next to the window overlooking the screen porch where all visitors entered the house.  She had next to her, her beloved radio, writing utensils, telephone, and I am sure a plethora of things a young girl takes little notice.  Moved into the nursing home she still had her radio and an envelope of dimes in which to give me to buy a bottle of soda down the hall.  The nursing home gave her greater mobility of a wheel chair and outings to see the Twins in the Metrodome!  Sometimes Dad and I would pick her up in that old pick up and strap her chair (with her seated in it) in the bed and bring her home for the local parade or picnic.

She was rather short in stature, a small woman.  Beautiful, white crown of hair and deep dimples in her cheeks.  She often spoke of the Lord, His return, and her faith in His ability to heal her.  I really believed that I would not have a chance to grow up and have children because Jesus' return was imminent.  It IS imminent but as a young girl I did not understand the fleeting of time. 

Her death is a prominent memory.  She was ill and failing.  Again, young by today's standards at 75.  Cancer had taken my grandfathers and cancer was claiming her too.  In those days the big C word was usually a death sentence as there wasn't much hope for cures or remission.  It was the last day of April and it was snowing.  All of the adults were by her bedside while I was instructed to wait in the family lounge of the nursing home.  There were large windows that I watched the nearly six inches of snow fall.  I knew she was gone when my dad came to find me carrying her radio. 

I have many impressions of this lady that are difficult to put into words.  Yet she impacted my life so significantly in a short time.  In short she was a prayer warrior and I am certain that her prayers continue to affect my life and family today.  I am positive she is playing ball with the apostles and disciples today in Heaven.

My maternal grandmother lived the longest in my life. Passing away at 85 years old, she is the only grandparent of mine that my children had the opportunity to meet.  Her memory has quickly faded from their memories as they were young, preschool and kindergarten ages.  She was a sprite of woman with a lot of energy.  Sitting on a pillow to see over the steering wheel and the seat pulled as far forward as possible as she drove "Bessie", her car, into town on errands.  She owned a lake shore home and had her beach open to us all summer for our enjoyment.  There were always cookies, usually two varieties, on the counter and Popsicles in the freezer.  We usually left with a treat of Smarties candy on our way out the door.  She tolerated wet, dripping, soaking swimmers traipsing through her small home to use the bathroom.  I'm sure it must have been a challenge as she was a neat freak.  I imagine she was continually mopping up after we traipsed back out to the water.  She tended our sunburns with her aloe plant and always had extra towels and swimsuits on the ready.  She loved her flowers and birds faithfully tending and feeding each.  I remember her love of Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal that visited her feeder and her loathe of the squirrels that would rob her birds of food.  Oh - that brings a memory of grandpa hunting the red squirrels.  They both had a keen dislike of those squirrels.

All taken too early in my life to really glean valuable ancestral information from any of them, with the exception of my maternal grandmother.  To hear their life stories, to hear how living was for them - through droughts, monsoons, economic depressions, wars...  To hear their testimonies of meeting the Savior.  I feel cheated for myself and my children.  My husband too.  I think they were cheated in knowing me and my family as well.    I look forward to an eternity in heaven with them to get to know them, hoping each are there awaiting our arrival.

Mini-vacation

The past few days, we have had an opportunity to be together, exclusively, as a family.  We have taken a mini-vacation.  Our children are teenagers, our time as parents with them is fleeting.  I am all too aware they will be quickly leave our home, leaving us an empty nest.  As a result, my husband and I, have been making deliberate occasions to be together and 'make memories'.  This has become even more important for me these past few weeks, as my friend M lays in hospice losing her battle with Crueztfeld-Jakob disease. I have been, unfortunately, made completely aware, the uncertainty of life.

Initially we thought we would return to the Rocky Mountains.  We traveled through them last spring and all of us, to the last person, fell in love with the Rockies!  But this spring season has been filled with late spring snows. Coupled with the face that we only had just under a week for our vacation, we decided it was too far a drive and too risky of weather to make the trip in April.

Our youngest daughter suggested Wisconsin Dells.  I wasn't overly keen on the idea initially.  We had been to the Dells when the children were quite young.  We discovered that our children were not the 'fish' that my husband and I had been as children.  I had also done previous investigation into the water-park hotels in years past.  I had sticker shock to the prices.

But upon her suggestion, we once again checked it out.  I still had sticker shock, but we are in a different place in our life with a little more disposable income than years ago.  Our children are older and likely would enjoy the slides water activities.  In the next moment, we had booked ourselves a mini-vacation at one of the largest water park resorts in the Dells.

We arrived an bit prior to official check-in time but were allowed to check-in.  We booked a standard room - two queen beds.  We got our luggage and made our way to the door.  Upon entering, we were in for a treat.  Instead of the standard room, we stood in a two room suite, complete with a king bed, two queen beds, two bathrooms, two TVs, a sofa, a fireplace, and a deck.  Wow!  What a surprise.  I was sure a mistake had been made, but I was not about to complain, as long as my bill didn't change!!  Each child had a bed, and hubby and I had the comfort of a large king bed, as well as a bit of privacy.

We have spent three days, blasting through water tubes, floating down the lazy river, riding the waves in the wave pool, playing water basketball, and recovering our aging bodies in the hot tub.  But that is not all!  As well as the water-park, there is an indoor amusement park complete with a Ferris Wheel, go-carts, laser tag, mini-golf, climbing wall, ropes course, and arcade.  This was included in our package deal!  Bowling is an extra charge. 

I have discovered, I am NOT as young as I use to be, nor am I in shape anymore.  Hubby and I are beat physically.  But it is worth it.  We have played with our children, laughed together, and 'made some memories.'

Our final day here in the Dells, it is snowing...  confirmation we should not be in the mountains.  The fireplace is our spot together this final evening.  The snow is falling and accumulating.  Oh, this is the upper mid-west. 

The resort is complete with restaurants, spa, salon, & entertainment.  Maybe we should just stay until winter departs for good.

1989 calendar

It is official - my husband and I have been together for 20 years. Hard to comprehend since I'm only 25 (tee hee). But it's true in 1989 DH and I met, dated, and then became engaged. I have the calendar from that year in my box of treasures. In those days of my life, my wall calendar was like a diary for me.

January reminds me I said good-bye to a friend, which I had a crush on, as he moved away to pursue a career. That young man had been very kind to me and included me in his life and relieved my lonliness. How my heart was crushed when he told me he thought of me like a little sister. How low I felt when he told me he was moving away - lonliness was once again on my horizon.

Little did I know that a young man I saw at the other's going away party, would change my life forever. You see we were all part of a Sunday School class in a large church. I was new to the church, the others had "grown up" together and knew each other. But this guy didn't catch my eye until that going away party. This is my first memory I have of my future hubby.

As the winter progressed we started up conversations after class and before church. The winter months on my calendar shows a young girl working and lonely - trying to figure out life as an adult. I spent a lot of weekends with my grandma.

May shows a change in my activities and my relationships. Future hubby's name is frequently on the dates - esp Sundays. We began going to lunch after church together. Those were are first dates - very casual and very unplanned. I saw Grandma less and a certain guy more.

June reveals more structured or planned dates. Except for the one where we attended his younger brother's high school open house. What is such a big deal about that, you ask? Well... you see, I had never met hubby's family previously nor had he mentioned me to them!!! You can imagine their shock when I arrived at their door for their middle child's open house. I have no idea what I was thinking when I agreed to go - - once I got there, I was petrified!! I got myself through the house and out to the deck where I did not move the rest of the afternoon! My future FIL made sure he learned my name by giving me a pen to sign the guest book, MIL was too busy hosting to engage me in any serious conversation, SIL, who was just a pre-teen at the time, took on the role of spy and kept an eye on me. She was adorable in her pleated, knee length skit, and knee high socks - one having fallen to her ankle :)

That was probably the most traumatic outing of the month. We attended a movie, a professional ball game, 4-th of July picnic, watched fireworks. Then he went away for two weeks. I remember thinking to myself - well that was fun but now it's over. I'm not sure why... as the at the fireworks show, he held my hand for the first time. Oh I was over the moon at that small physical touch. But the next day he left for a mission's trip and I was sure it was over. My sister, however, was trying out a potential new name for me.

I immersed myself in work, volunteered for overtime, and generally kept busy. In the middle of this two week absence I got a post card. I didn't even know he had my address! Sure he had been to my apartment but still....he had my full address including zip code! His card told me what day he'd be home and that I should call him. Call him I did!!! We met up two days after his return.

Now we are at the end of July beginning of August. I am housesitting for friends who have a large active dog. While housesitting my back goes out (from an injury the year before). I couldn't move! This dog needed to be walked, played with, etc. I didn't know what to do...I hestiantly called "him." Explained my situation... this amazing guy came every day following school and work to help me. At the end of my stay, he cleaned the house - spotless, and brought me home, helping me get groceries. It is from that time forward that there are very few days we were not together.

This guy is amazing! He is caring, tender, attentive, selfless... my sister and her husband said to me - - "You need to keep this guy - if you don't we will keep him for ourselves!"

August brought a flurry of weddings, between the two of us, we had 4 weddings to attend in 3 weeks. Whew! It was also my birthday... this is the first time he informed me he loved me. I'll never forget it. He left a card on my pillow for me to find after he left. Oh why did he leave? I just wanted to hug him and return his love. Now I had to wait for him to get home to tell him on the phone!! (long before cellphones were commonplace) The hug had to wait for the next evening after work.

September arrived... our families barely knew each of us, we were so focused on our relationship to the exclusion of everyone else - good thing our intense dating period was short!! One Sunday afternoon, this guy that I was completely head over heels in love with looked at me and said "Do you want to get married?" No pomp and circumstance - just a question. Well, like a poised young girl I responded "Uh... do you?" And like that we decided to get married. LOL

It has been 20 years since that day, nearly 19 years of marriage: I am so glad I said "yes." It has been quite a journey but one that I cherish and do not regret. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with this amazing man. I completely believe that God created this man for me and I for him. I can't imagine my life any other way.

Macaroni & Cheese with Hot Dogs

The 4th anniversary of the death of my brother-in-law is approaching. I asked DD#1 if she had any memories of her uncle. She responded that he was the first one to make Macaroni and Cheese with Hot Dogs for her. Huh?!? Not what I was expecting... her next memory had to do with juice boxes. Apparently food is a memory for her.

So I asked DD#2. She responded with I remember he died of cancer and being at his house with her cousins trying to jump on a pogo stick in the basement. Oh - well that's interesting.

Both of their responses are very interesting to me. Their uncle died when they were 8 and 10. We really did not have much contact with him during the previous 4-5 years as he and his wife, my sister, were no longer married to each other. But I was curious what they remembered as I knew that he really enjoyed being their uncle.

I miss him and for many different reasons. I know his children miss him dearly. This makes my heart ache for them. I have had the privilege of both of my parents my whole life - - in fact I still have them, how blessed am I?

I miss him for his doctoring. You see, he was a chiropractor, my chiropractor. Since his death I have had to seek out a different doctor.

I miss him - just miss him. He was a brother-in-law, a friend, at times an advisor, sometimes a disciplinarian (I being several years younger than he), a babysitter, an irritant, the father of my nephew and niece...

It was a complicated relationship. When I met him I was 14 years old. He was dating my older sister. Boy, did I think he was cute. I couldn't believe how lucky my sister was to being dating such a 'hot' guy. They married a few years later. I was still a young girl - just a teenager. Later, I moved in with he and my sister. I was still in high school and they were expecting their first child. There were some turbulent moments but we got through and we all 'bonded'. Although ALL of us were happy when I turned 18 and could move out on my own.

He and my sister assisted me in getting my first job, first car, and even navigate the trauma of my first vehicular accident which totaled my car. Then it was onto my next vehicle - BIL got to teach me how to drive a stick-shift. Good thing he was a chiropractor for the whiplash :). Following my accident he was my doctor treating the actual whiplash I sustained in the accident.

A few years later, I married. He and my sister as well as my nephew were in the wedding. We were close, the four of us adults, and DH & I thrived in our role as aunt & uncle. Our relationship changed, I was grown up. We would meet as couples and enjoy fun times as adult siblings.

But as life tends to do, it got complicated. He and my sister's marriage fell apart. It was so sad to watch - I had never been so close to a divorce. Even more difficult was the transformation in relationships. Sadly, my own sibling relationship fell victim and was lost. My relationship with my ex-BIL, I never could call him ex... changed too. It was a rough time for everyone. But in the end, he and I were still friends, and we were still uncle or aunt to each other's children.

There are many times I think of this man. He played a pivotal role in my young adult life. Some advice he gave I followed which changed the path of my life forever. I remember he & my sister saying.... "you need to marry that man, if you don't we're keeping him anyway." I did marry "that man" - sooooo happy I did. Other words of wisdom to a young, flat broke girl considering how to pay for rent, car, insurance, bills and considering how to pay for college. "If you don't know what you're going to college for - save your money... you can attend college anytime - have a direction." I didn't go to college. Instead I married a young guy and helped him get a college degree (only one college loan) - in return I have a fantastic husband and have the privilege of being a full time mother since the day my oldest was born.

So this time of year, I remember a man that made an impact in my life. Was he the only person to make impact in my life? No . Was he perfect? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Did God use him in my life? YES! Do I miss him? Most definitely but I hurt more for his children who do not have their father.

September 11

I distinctly remember taking DD#2 to preschool that morning. DD#1 was at school in Kindergarten. DH stayed home ill. I dropped of a very excited toddler at preschool, this was just the first few days of her schooling career. I returned to my vehicle and turned on the radio. I began to hearing disturbing reports of fire, airplane crashes, the capital in danger. I could not understand much of what was happening, I don't think the individual reporting the news could understand what he was reporting. It was so unbelievable.

Over the course of a few miles, it started to become very clear that a tragedy was taking place. I still didn't understand that it involved multiple planes, thousands of people, or our that our country was under attack. I just knew that whatever was happening was a crisis of huge proportions.

About that time, I was nearing our church. I pulled in the parking lot, needing to enter the sanctuary to pray. My heart was filled with grief and fear. Upon entering, I was not alone, for a dear lady was already there crying out to God. We held hands and prayed for those in the midst of the tragedy and for the protection of the rest of our country.

Only once as I returned home, to find DH watching the television in stunned disbelief did I understand what had happened. We sat there together trying to understand. I was so thankful he was home that day and not in his office in the city. We spent the day, like so many others, clued to the television.

I remember feeling great sadness and fear. Were there more attacks planned? Where? I was extremely uncomfortable as DH returned to his office the next morning. What if other cities were next?

Today, I remember all those that lost their lives in those tragic moments. Life is so fleeting. We know not our time, only God knows the days appointed to us. So many heroes emerged that day. So many hearts broken in an instant. Lives changed in an instant. A country stirred to patriotism and compassion.

Today I will remember. I remember the rescue personnel running to help, the lines of people to donate blood, the pictures of people lost, the cries of sadness, the cries of joy of finding someone alive, the heroes on the plane who said - "no more", ... the flags.