Struggling dogwood

Gardening is the topic of choice today.  I am capable of gardening but it is not my passion.  I do not have a 'green thumb'.  I am never sure if it is a plant or weed, especially when young so I tend to leave most everything.  By the time it is identifiable it is overwhelmingly weedy.  I don't really enjoy being in the sun  and most gardening cannot be done in the shade.  Add to that mix, that I am not a detailed oriented person.  This does not make for a great gardener.

However, this past weekend, it was not raining and we were home for an afternoon. We tackled some overdue  yard work items.  Winter was long and harsh, Spring was equally long and cold.  My hubby got his tractor with the assistance of our oldest daughter, running the disc and plow through the small field that is used as a garden plot by my father-in-law.  My youngest daughter planted a few pots of flowers.  I went to work on the bushes in the front yard.

These bushes were planted about four years ago.  I bought these little guys on clearance during a hot, dry July.  My idea was to plant them to provide some protection from the road.  There are Burning Bushes, Maple Amurs, and Dogwoods.  We have a bit of property and the front of the yard is a long ways from the spigot.  I carried water to the bushes by the bucketful to make sure they did not die during the drought we were experiencing. 

Four years later, these bushes are still struggling.  Not much bigger than when I planted them, I have been disappointed in their progress  I am also not really thrilled with mowing around them, especially since they are not thriving as I had hoped.  The dogwoods really are struggling - mostly sticks with few leaves.  There were only two of these and I finally mowed down one of them last year. 

But off I went to clear out the grass and weeds growing up and through the plants, taking their water and chocking them.  I pulled out the grass and weeds.  I also put in fertilizer spikes, something I probably should have been doing each year, One or two of the bushes are beginning to show promise. But the remaining dogwood is not doing well at all.  When I pulled away all the grass I found a few short sticks of growth with a handful (about 4) of small leaves.  Definitely not thriving and it looks like the deer have found it tasty as well.  I am considering mowing down this non-productive plant.  I realize the soil is not the best in this part of my yard but I was hoping these hardy plants would make it.

The same time I planted those bushes, I also planted a row of pine trees.  These guys were small, in one gallon pots.  I have carefully tended to them through several years of drought and protected them from the plow of the tractor (they are on the edge of the field).  I am delighted to report that they are growing quite well.    The lawn tractor is no longer a threat and they are more easily seen from larger farm equipment.  I do not mind mowing around them just to see the progress they are making; the growth each year is pleasing.  They are planted in clay, loamy soil and loving it! 

This made me think about the Heavenly Gardner.  How He plants me, nurtures me, pulls at the weeds, carefully mows around me, and I disappoint Him in my growth.  Year after year He continues to tend to me, with much more skill and patience than I have for my bushes.   I know I disappoint my Heavenly Gardner and wonder if He is getting tired of continuing carefully tending to me, much like I am with the bushes.  I wonder if He wishes I was more like those pine trees - putting down a deep tap root, pulling from water deep down, and shooting upward and outward.  I know that is what I desire to be - a thriving, growing tree rather than a struggling, little bush in danger of being mowed over and forgotten forever.  Gives me much for thought and thankfulness that the Heavenly Gardner has much more patience than I do for that struggling Dogwood.  Hmmmm... wonder if I should transplant that bush?

Only need to ask

In the same line of thinking of when God revealed Himself in a real and tangible way, I recalled another incident. I am ashamed at my failure to remember God's faithfulness especially when I am feeling like my prayers are going no further than the ceiling. I am saddened when I consider all the times God has intervened and I failed to acknowledge Him. Truth is that God is always working in my life, seen and unseen. Truth is that God has promised to never nor forsake me.

It was our anniversary. We had planned for our children to spend some time with their uncle while we celebrated. We made plans, I do not recall exactly what those plans were but probably dinner and a quiet evening together, our budget being rather scant. The day or so before, hubby started to complain of not feeling very well. Believing it was likely a flu bug I didn't give it much thought, he would recover quickly.

Friday arrived, hubby stayed home from work ill and going more downhill as the day progressed. He was drinking fluids and resting to fight the 'bug.' Disappointed, I canceled our plans and settled in to be a nursemaid. Hubby is not one to go to the doctor, he has to be extremely ill or in severe pain to consider such a visit.  Day turned into night and still he was not feeling any better.  I teased him he didn’t need to get ill to express his displeasure in our plans.

Very early the next morning, he awakened me to take him into urgent care.  "Wow," I thought, "he must really be feeling awful."  He then revealed to me that despite drinking massive quantities of water, he could not urinate.  This information propelled me out of bed and into motion. 

Still very early, much before the polite hour to call another's home, I called my parents to arrange child care for our children.  Thankfully, my dad is an early riser, but I think I got him out of bed on a Saturday at this early hour.  He arrived shortly thereafter, and I packaged my shivering yet sweating and hobbling husband into the car.  Urgent care is first come first serve.  Suffice it to say we were first, as we waited 30 minutes in the parking lot waiting for the clinic to open.

I was becoming more concerned by the minute.  He was walking like an elderly man and very pallid.  In the waiting room I tried to keep him warm as the chills wracked his body in waves.  He was asked for a urine sample, which was impossible.  He was diagnosed with a prostate infection which can be treated with antibiotics.  But it was very worrisome that he had not been able 'to go' for over 12 hours and he had taken in two quarts of liquid.  He was sent for an MRI - I think it was an MRI anyway, to look for any blockage.

The imaging clinic was across the street, I helped him to the car and out again and into the clinic.  I planted him in the nearest chair and checked him in for the test.  He was given some barium (brain is fuzzy on the substance) to drink.  It was a several hour process… drink this much now and this much more later.  Poor guy, it was horrible tasting and he was miserable and uncomfortable. 

Sitting in the chair, I watched my husband fade before my eyes.  I finally approached the desk and asked if they had an examining table or bed he could lie on and blankets.  By now the chills were non stop.  His color was very disturbing.   Needless to say, I was becoming frightened.  They kindly found him a gurney, a room, and blankets.

By now it was lunch time, he sent me out to pick up his prescriptions so that when the test was complete I could just take him home without needing to stop for medicines.  I reluctantly left his side.  I put in the order for his meds at pharmacy in the big box store.  As I waited, I did some shopping for band aids for my youngest, she was always in need of band aids for real and imagined boo-boos.  Funny how I remember finding Strawberry Shortcake band aids for her.

I called to check in on the girls and to give the report of hubby's condition.  I was teary as I expressed his condition and my concern.  Mom then asked me if I has put him on the church prayer chain.  Duh!  I had not thought of that, I was so caught up in caring for him.  I, of course, had been praying but did not think of including the body of Christ, so caught up in caring for him.  She offered to make the call for me and we hung up.

I received the medicines from the pharmacy, grabbed a sandwich, and rushed back to his side.  I was anxious to return to him.  He was not any better than when I left him.  I ate my lunch, called his parents, and prayed over him.  About 30 minutes later, within 60  minutes of putting him on the prayer chain, he informed me he needed to use the bathroom.  Really?!  A nurse and I assisted him to the restroom with the use of a wheelchair, as I recall.  It was a 'productive' visit to the restroom!  Immediately, he began to feel a bit better and his coloring improved.  They continued with the test, saw nothing, sent him home. He was ill for about a week, it takes a while to recover from such an infection. 

 

I believe that God intervened on his behalf.  Yes, it could have been the stuff they gave him to drink that cleared some sort of blockage.  But I believe that God can use that in His healing process if He chooses.  I am more interested in the timing of when the change occurred.  It was shortly after a call for prayer.  I am ashamed that I had not asked for prayer earlier.  I do not believe it was coincidence that hubby improved as we sought prayer support.  God is all knowing, He knew what we were going through, He was waiting and willing to assist.  We only needed to ask.  Something to remember and never forget.

Do you see that car?

My last post I described how God protected us during a severe storm in 1998.  This got me to thinking about other times God has been clearly evident in my life.  I wish I have been more diligent in writing things down in the past, I am guilty of thinking I will remember and not forget.  But alas, I am human, and thus have a short memory.  Which is why history is doomed to repeat itself over and over again.  In the Bible God's people were instructed over and over again, to build a moment, pass it down to the children, remember .... remember God's faithfulness. 

To memory came another incident where I prayed and God answered.  Had it not been for my daughter in the car, I may have missed His answer and then failed to thank Him and praise Him for caring for us.  All too often, I rely on myself or think of it as coincidence when really it is God taking a very tangible and real role in my life. 

This particular day I was about 50 miles away from home with my two daughters.  I had taken them to a conference for young girls on being a Bright Light for the Lord.  A February day in the upper mid-west can range from sunshine - rain - freezing rain - snow - blizzard.  The conference was held in the southern metro area and I live past the northern edge of the metro area. 

The day started out with rain and developed into freezing rain, at least where I was at in the southern metro area.  I went out at lunch and cleared the windows of the ice developing which turned out to be very wise.  Many others at the end of the day were chipping away at inch or more thick layer of ice on their windows.  My ice layer at the end of the day was considerably thinner due to my previous clearing.  We set out for the drive home which would typically take about an hour.

It was late afternoon when we left.  There was still daylight and although the driving was slow I could see the road and other vehicles in the remaining daylight.  As we drove north the freezing rain turned into snow.  The interstate was crawling along at about 25 mph.  Our drive extended into the second hour as we carefully made our way home. 

Twilight fell as I turned off the main, well traveled interstates and freeways onto the county roads that lead to my home.  The traveling became more slow and careful.  Soon it was dark and the snow was falling heavily and we had passed the two hour mark on our drive.  In a rural area, on a country road in the dark, I could no longer distinguish the ditch from the road.  Gripping the wheel and white knuckled, I prayed aloud something to the effect of "Lord, I can't see the road, please take the wheel and drive us safely home, show the path, in Jesus Name."  I returned to giving my full concentration to driving.

Shortly, a car appeared on the road ahead of us.  I could see its taillights and the tire path on the road ahead of me.  I did not recognize what was occurring ahead of me or how much easier the driving (relatively speaking) had become with the existence of this vehicle.  My daughter from the back seat who was leaning forward trying to assist in identifying the road boundaries, exclaimed "Mom, that car is showing us the way, just as you prayed!"  She was so right and I nearly missed it!!

We continued the final miles to our home following this car.  I was shocked when it turned down my street, a small gravel road.  It continued on down the road right past our driveway, literally showing me the way home.  I turned into the driveway full of about a foot or more of snow, where I promptly got stuck.  I sat back and with my girls thanked the Lord for providing a guide for our drive home and for getting us home safely.

I still am amazed each time I reflect on this event.   The car was not in front of me previously, we were alone on the road  - - a lonely country road.  I did not see a car pull out from a driveway or side road.  And I did not recognize a neighbor as it continued on down my street.  I wonder, did I see an angel?  I do not have the answers.  But I am convinced that it was placed there for me in answer to my prayer.  This was not a coincidence nor was it my own ability that got us home safely that night.

The Big Blow of '98

In 1998 a storm came through leaving damage behind.  We were fortunate the damage, although rather extensive, it did not touch our home.  We were front row witnesses of watching God's hand of protection on our home and family.

May 15, 1998 was a very warm and muggy day.  The forecast  called for potential severe weather.  I made some preparations for this potential: washing dishes, doing a load of laundry, filling buckets of water for toilets, made bottles for the baby, made room for my car in the garage.  I wanted to put my car in the shed as the garage floor was littered with toddler toys, but the tractor was in the way.  So I quickly cleared out the garage floor.  I figured this was the type of storm that we could lose power for a few hours, maybe a bit of hail.  Little did I know...

I spent the morning caring for my babies, preparing for 'potential' weather, and enjoying the beauty of the current weather.  I sat on the screen porch we then had journaling and praying.  I remember being thankful for our home, the beauty of our surroundings, and the wonderful life I was leading.  I also prayed for our protection, specifically protection of our home and lives should storms develop. 

The weather was ripe for storms, very warm, high 90s (F) temperatures, muggy.  One could feel the conditions were ripe for big thunderstorms and maybe tornadoes.  As a child, I was overly afraid of storms, even an innocent dark cloud would send me under the covers.  I decided this particular day, that I would not pass this irrational fear to my children.

I laid my children down for their afternoon nap.  Fans running to try to stay cool in our unairconditioned home.  I kept an eye on the weather by watching the local news stations and radar.  Sure enough, a large storm was making a bee line for our neighborhood.  I stayed calm and remained alert.

The baby awoke first, wearing only a diaper, I placed her in her highchair to feed her.  I noticed the water coming in the back storm door.  I checked to make sure I had closed the window, which I had, and closed the heavier interior door.  My phone rang, it was my mom, wondering if I was doing okay, knowing my fear of storms.  I assured her all was well - remember I was not going to pass on my fear.   Then I glanced out the window, something was amiss, the shed didn't look right.  I called my mom asking her to come over after the storm, I thought we would likely need her as I thought something was 'wrong' with the shed.  The sirens started wailing near her home, she shrieked we all needed to head for cover... she lives a short three miles away.  Our community does not have the sirens, but Mom's does have these warning devices.  Definitely not the day to 'stay calm', I should have been in the basement.  I later learned all the neighbors had taken shelter in their basements.

 

( Before )

I grabbed the baby and headed to my toddler's room to awaken her from her nap.  It was then that I saw the tree down.  Oh!  That was the "booming" sound I heard.  Upon opening the door to my daughter's room, she said, "Mommy, it's storming."  I affirmed her in her astuteness and hustled her to the basement, grabbing the diaper bag, which always had a few snacks in it, on my way down the stairs.  We remained in our old, musty, non-liveable basement for a bit.   I was thankful for that diaper bag with the snacks and a blanket to wrap my nearly naked baby in to ward off the basement chill.  I remember singing "This Little Light of Mine" with my babies.

The phone rang again... my mom wondering how we were and shooing me back to the basement as another wave of storms was to be passing through shortly.  I looked at the shed... definitely it was tilted.  I returned to the basement awaiting the all clear.  The all clear came from my mother bursting through the back door and my husband's arrival home from work.

Remember my prayer of protection?  My husband was driving home during this weather, his timing was such that he missed the hail that caused considerable damage to other motorists, he missed the horrible winds, drove in mostly rain.  God protected him on his commute.



Recall my desire to put the car in the shed?  The garage was untouched.  But the shed was pushed 10 feet off it's foundation.  It definitely did not look 'right'.  The only reason it was standing was the roof was resting and being upheld by the smoke stack on the tractor.  The building was a total loss.  A sad event as it was a historical building, at one time having been a one room school house, moved and converted to a shed.  As we tore down the building, we saved the square nails that it had been used for its construction.  The shed is on the NW corner of our property.  God protected our car and our hobby farm equipment and tools.

 

We also lost 14, 50 foot pine trees, uprooted and laying across the lawn.  The majestic beauties stood in a line in our front yard from the road to the house on the SE side.  Two trees remain standing today, the two that would have fallen on our home crushing the bedroom where my daughter lay napping.  Closer to the house near, infront of those two trees was a huge Box Elder tree that lost branches in any heavy breeze, did not topple nor lose a branch.  God protected my daughter.

                                    (fallen trees)

                                                                                                     (fallen trees root balls)

On all sides damage had been done to our property.  In the middle stood our home which was completely untouched, not a shingle lost.  I had pulled, the previous day, a tumble weed looking old plant -  it lay on the grass where I left it.   The garage where the car was sheltered unscathed.  God protected our home.

The power?  Well, we had power, sort of.  When the shed was pushed off it's foundation it pushed against the guide wire to one of the power poles, making it lean and pulling taut all the power lines to the house.  They did not snap, but it was a precarious situation.  It was not safe to use the electricity. God protected us from live, broken power lines and potential fire.

An incredible testimony to God's faithfulness in our lives.  We have built a new shed and replanted trees.  But we remember His hand of protection always as we look at the remaining two trees tower over our house.

471 miles for a hug

471 miles.  That is all that stood between me and my friend, S.  Initially, I did not realize that only 471 miles would be separating us on a particular weekend in May.  Usually we have are separated by 4,400 miles.  4,400 miles that cannot be driven as an ocean stands in the way, airplanes or ships are required to connect us.  But 471 miles on the same continent in the same country, this was something I could conquer with my SUV.    

Who is S?   Why would I travel 4,400 miles or 471 miles to see her?  S is a friend, a confidant, a sister.  She and I, in a very short period, formed bonds of friendship that last a lifetime.  A friend who has seen the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty.    Together we have experienced infants, pregnancy, toddlers, low incomes, tears, laughter, sleepless nights, tragedies, joys, dreams, fears, disappointments, and celebrations.  Sounds like a lifetime, doesn't it?  Yet most of our friendship has been spent separated by 4,400 miles.

We met when my oldest daughter was a mere three weeks old.  I walked through the doors of our community church for a ladies Bible study.  A new mom, lonely, and desperate for friends.  Until my daughter had been born I worked full-time, commuting 35 miles one way.  I had not developed friends in my community.  Suddenly I was home full time and very lonely.  I bravely entered the doors of the church. 

I was not new to church or Bible studies.  I grew up in a Christian home.  But as a young adult, church going was not a priority, we were too busy working and 'starting our lives'.  We had not found a local church home prior to our daughter's birth.   Accustomed to leaving the home everyday to go to work, I was lonely and tired of the four walls.  I screwed up my courage and went to the mid-week morning, ladies Bible study with my tiny baby.

Babies attract attention!  I was greeted, my baby ooohed and aaaahed.  And in the small gathering was a young lady with a very round belly.  This turned out to be S.  She was expecting her first child in two months.  She was drawn to my tiny infant and I to another person in my peer group.  Our friendship was off and running. 

We experienced all the wonders of being mothers of infants together.   We were each other's lifeline during those days.  Our girls were 'instant' friends.  We attended classes together, took walks, to garage sales, and enjoyed watching our children grow and develop.  It wasn't long before we were dreaming of more children and devised a plan to add on to each of our families at the same time.  Nothing to bond women together than pregnancy!  Our plan succeeded... I became pregnant with our second daughter and she became pregnant with twins!  Shortly we had five children under the age of two between us.  The fun was just beginning.

We had many adventures together with those babies and other babies as she did daycare for two other families.    She a youth pastor's wife as well in our church, we tackled a few ministry tasks together as well.  Big, round, pregnant with toddlers in tow we ran Vacation Bible School - without air conditioning in August!  Ahh the memories.

S and her husband were missionary candidates, their time in my local church was coming to an end.  Shortly they were called to an over seas assignment.  We had become friends and sisters in a brief three years.  But our friendship did not cease.  I made room in our budget for over seas phone calls, mailing packages and visits to  their new home - once with a with preschooler, another with two elementary aged children along.  I have prayed for them, supported them, and loved them from afar.  I have been blessed by her friendship, my world expanded beyond my small town, state, and country borders.

So when 471 miles separated us... I made my way to give her a hug in person.  Just another adventure in our friendship.  Before our friendship I had not run a VBS program, been out of the country, or driven by myself as the only driver 471 miles.  There is always a first time for everything.  Sharing a conversation and hug is definitely worth all the scariness of new adventures and 471 miles!

Unexpected Adventure = Mother-Daughter Time

Today I am preparing to leave on a road trip.  I think I put too much pressure on myself in my preparations.  I like to leave a clean, mostly organized house.  Why?  When returning there is usually a chaos of stuff  coming into the house, which if put on top of a mess would make me nutty!  If we depart with organization and cleanliness it allows me to relax and rest upon my return.  Make sense?

This process of preparation usually drives my family nutty, remember I live in  Forest of Crazy.  I tend to get wound up and go non-stop, jumping from one thing to the next.  I understand why the family gets frustrated, I don't really like it myself.  I have tried to tame this beast and have made some progress, I think.  Maybe should I should ask the family?

I have spent the last few days trying to get the lawn mowed.  It is obnoxiously long and must be cut or it will be out of control.  Problem is that it continues to rain so getting it done has been a challenge.  Last night, I was attempting to mow the last two sections when the squealing began, ending my mowing.  Hubby declared it a bearing issue... a new part has been purchased.  Alas, hubby may need to do finish the mowing.

This is the longest road trip I am undertaking without my hubby.  I will be traveling with my youngest daughter, DD#2, who is a lovely 13 years old.  I am excited to get away with her, spend one-on-one time, find our way on an adventure.  In essence mother-daughter bonding.  Leaving behind DD#1 and hubby for some of their own bonding time. 

On the first leg of our journey we are joined by hubby's sister, E, and her adorable 7.5 month old baby L.  They are the ones that began this whole adventure.   A casual comment from E telling me was going to visit her aunt with L, a five hour journey.  Thinking she was brave to travel that distance alone with a baby, I asked if she wanted company.  Now we are a day away from departing.

This is the only part of the journey with E and L.  They will be joined by brother-in-law, G, the following evening where they will continue on with their own weekend adventure.  As this trip developed, I realized that my very good friend would be in the states the same weekend.  This is significant as she is a missionary serving over seas. In visiting Auntie, I realized I would be within four hours of her location!!  Whoo Hoo! 

The plan is to spend one night with Auntie, depart the following morning to meet up with S.  Yet it gets better.  S is attending our church domination bi-annual conference.  I did not think this was something for me, as I figured it was for the missionaries, pastors, and church leaders.  But I discovered I was wrong - I can attend as well.  Hear the incredible speakers - Ravi Zacharias and John Stumbo, Gracia Burnham, & more.  My pastor's wife was able to obtain tickets for us to attend the popular ladies luncheon.  How cool is this deal?  Not only do I get to connect with S, I get to attend an incredible conference.  AND I get to share it with DD#2. 

I have been tickled at DD#2's excitement.  I wasn't certain that she would be excited about a church event geared mostly for adults.  She has proven me wrong, counting down the days to our departure.  She is a great companion.  I am anticipating some fun memories.  She already knows her mom is the queen of turn arounds, so we should travel together just fine. 

Feeling very blessed to be able to go on this adventure.  An unexpected adventure to be sure, but I think these are the best kind, don't you?  So now the house is mostly clean, the lawn mostly mowed, the clothes are packed, and the departure is near.  Excited to spend time with DD#2, E, L, Auntie, & S.  Most importantly looking forward to what the Lord has planned for us.