Fall used to be my favorite time of year. That is during those years between school age (start of the new school year) and having tween aged children.
Fall is beautiful, warm during the day, crisp at night, usually low to no humidity, bugs are disappearing, bright night stars, full harvest moon, dry (i.e. no mud from thawing winter snows), quietness (kids back in school), falling leaves.
Now that I am a parent of two active children, fall is no longer my favorite time of year. Now it is full of beginnings of ---- this activity - that activity, find all the supplies for each activity, finish all the yard work before winter, celebrate birthdays, the realization that the winter holidays are very near, and the list goes on.
This *season* of my life is busy. I am parent, an educator, a leader, a wife, a friend, a chauffeur. During this particular stage I feel like I am not succeeding in these roles - just hanging on trying to get through from one activity to the next. It does not help that the house is under a constant state of remodel. The kitchen has been particularly trying, as the kitchen truly is the center of the home.
So I am pondering how I can enjoy this time of my life and not just "hang on." I know my children are growing and will soon be adults and gone. I will miss this time deeply. Now, how do I just settle into the role and time and relish it? This is particularly challenging for me. I like structure, I like/need down time at regular intervals which is in short supply, I crave order.
I am challenged in a book I am reading by Linda Dillow, Calm My Anxious Heart, to take my anxieties to my Blessed Controller, my Heavenly Father. God created me, knew me before my mother knew me. He appointed each and every day for me before I even came into existence. I know all this - now to move the knowledge from my head to my heart; to let go and let God. I am promised by God that He knows me better than myself and He will not allow more than I can handle. Oh do understand, to take hold of this time, to let these things in my life develop the character that God wants in my life. I am not asked to do this on my own but to let God walk beside me and even carry me, if necessary. Easier said than done for one like me that craves order and control.
When I think of the time and place I live in, my life is very easy. I am not scrounging for food, my home is secure, I am not under threat for my beliefs, I am warm in the winter, cool in the summer, I have a car, I do not have to work multiple jobs, my children and I have plenty & more. This is just a short list. Many in the this world, live in primative conditions, do not have access to healthcare, food, are under constant fear, work hard and still cannot feed or clothe their children. So really, my life is easy. I try not to forget this and to be continually thankful for my life and where I live. I tend to take the ease of my surroundings and lifestyle for granted and get easily frustrated by the small things.
This is my challenge currently. To enjoy my life for what it is, know that this time shall pass all too quickly. To enjoy that which I have been richly blessed and not let the inconveniences frustrate me. Easier said than done.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
September 11
I distinctly remember taking DD#2 to preschool that morning. DD#1 was at school in Kindergarten. DH stayed home ill. I dropped of a very excited toddler at preschool, this was just the first few days of her schooling career. I returned to my vehicle and turned on the radio. I began to hearing disturbing reports of fire, airplane crashes, the capital in danger. I could not understand much of what was happening, I don't think the individual reporting the news could understand what he was reporting. It was so unbelievable.
Over the course of a few miles, it started to become very clear that a tragedy was taking place. I still didn't understand that it involved multiple planes, thousands of people, or our that our country was under attack. I just knew that whatever was happening was a crisis of huge proportions.
About that time, I was nearing our church. I pulled in the parking lot, needing to enter the sanctuary to pray. My heart was filled with grief and fear. Upon entering, I was not alone, for a dear lady was already there crying out to God. We held hands and prayed for those in the midst of the tragedy and for the protection of the rest of our country.
Only once as I returned home, to find DH watching the television in stunned disbelief did I understand what had happened. We sat there together trying to understand. I was so thankful he was home that day and not in his office in the city. We spent the day, like so many others, clued to the television.
I remember feeling great sadness and fear. Were there more attacks planned? Where? I was extremely uncomfortable as DH returned to his office the next morning. What if other cities were next?
Today, I remember all those that lost their lives in those tragic moments. Life is so fleeting. We know not our time, only God knows the days appointed to us. So many heroes emerged that day. So many hearts broken in an instant. Lives changed in an instant. A country stirred to patriotism and compassion.
Today I will remember. I remember the rescue personnel running to help, the lines of people to donate blood, the pictures of people lost, the cries of sadness, the cries of joy of finding someone alive, the heroes on the plane who said - "no more", ... the flags.
Over the course of a few miles, it started to become very clear that a tragedy was taking place. I still didn't understand that it involved multiple planes, thousands of people, or our that our country was under attack. I just knew that whatever was happening was a crisis of huge proportions.
About that time, I was nearing our church. I pulled in the parking lot, needing to enter the sanctuary to pray. My heart was filled with grief and fear. Upon entering, I was not alone, for a dear lady was already there crying out to God. We held hands and prayed for those in the midst of the tragedy and for the protection of the rest of our country.
Only once as I returned home, to find DH watching the television in stunned disbelief did I understand what had happened. We sat there together trying to understand. I was so thankful he was home that day and not in his office in the city. We spent the day, like so many others, clued to the television.
I remember feeling great sadness and fear. Were there more attacks planned? Where? I was extremely uncomfortable as DH returned to his office the next morning. What if other cities were next?
Today, I remember all those that lost their lives in those tragic moments. Life is so fleeting. We know not our time, only God knows the days appointed to us. So many heroes emerged that day. So many hearts broken in an instant. Lives changed in an instant. A country stirred to patriotism and compassion.
Today I will remember. I remember the rescue personnel running to help, the lines of people to donate blood, the pictures of people lost, the cries of sadness, the cries of joy of finding someone alive, the heroes on the plane who said - "no more", ... the flags.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Blame it on the Commode
Many years ago when DH and I moved into our home, we barely had two pennies to rub together. We were so thrilled to own a house. Those lean years became even more lean when we added a child. Then we decided to become a single-income family. Followed by another child and well, lean does not begin to describe our financial situation. However, we were somehow making it work.
Blame it on the commode. The Sawzall Conflict came about when the bathroom toilet broke. What was suppose to be a simple fix of replacing the toilet turned into a complete bathroom remodel. We found the floor rotted, which had traveled up the nearby wall. Thus, a whole section directly beneath the toilet had to be replaced, all the walls torn out, and then put back together.
We were so thankful that the toilet never broke through to the basement. But it did require DH needed to do some serious demolishing of the rotted floor. He decided the tool needed was a Sawzall. I recommended he rent the tool from our famous local hardware store. [the hardware store is worthy a blog entry or two of it's own]
Well, much to my displeasure, DH went out and bought the tool. How dare he? Didn't he know I needed to buy groceries and formula, and pay the bills? Where did he think the money was coming from anyway? Too say I was livid is probably too polite.
His reasoning for purchasing the Sawzall was that this is a basic tool that he needs time and again. I could not see that big of a picture.
DH still uses that same Sawzall to this day. He has used it over and over. Every project and then some. Every remodeling/home improvement project has required this special tool.
Every time it comes out - DH reminds me of the hated Sawzall Conflict. Today we can laugh over it but trust me when I tell you I did not see any humor in it some 11 years ago. I do feel horrible to the way I treated him back then. I should have trusted his judgement in the money spent.
Blame it on the commode.
As I write, the Sawzall is back at work assisting in the removal of a portion of the lower cupboard & counter. This so that the floor underneath can be torn up - with the rest of the floor. DH also needs to work on plumbing in that corner. I'll get tokeep a bit of counter so we can have a functional sink and maybe continue using the failing cooktop. But things are getting skimpy in the functionality of the kitchen.
Thank goodness for the Sawzall.
Blame it on the commode. The Sawzall Conflict came about when the bathroom toilet broke. What was suppose to be a simple fix of replacing the toilet turned into a complete bathroom remodel. We found the floor rotted, which had traveled up the nearby wall. Thus, a whole section directly beneath the toilet had to be replaced, all the walls torn out, and then put back together.
We were so thankful that the toilet never broke through to the basement. But it did require DH needed to do some serious demolishing of the rotted floor. He decided the tool needed was a Sawzall. I recommended he rent the tool from our famous local hardware store. [the hardware store is worthy a blog entry or two of it's own]
Well, much to my displeasure, DH went out and bought the tool. How dare he? Didn't he know I needed to buy groceries and formula, and pay the bills? Where did he think the money was coming from anyway? Too say I was livid is probably too polite.
His reasoning for purchasing the Sawzall was that this is a basic tool that he needs time and again. I could not see that big of a picture.
DH still uses that same Sawzall to this day. He has used it over and over. Every project and then some. Every remodeling/home improvement project has required this special tool.
Every time it comes out - DH reminds me of the hated Sawzall Conflict. Today we can laugh over it but trust me when I tell you I did not see any humor in it some 11 years ago. I do feel horrible to the way I treated him back then. I should have trusted his judgement in the money spent.
Blame it on the commode.
As I write, the Sawzall is back at work assisting in the removal of a portion of the lower cupboard & counter. This so that the floor underneath can be torn up - with the rest of the floor. DH also needs to work on plumbing in that corner. I'll get tokeep a bit of counter so we can have a functional sink and maybe continue using the failing cooktop. But things are getting skimpy in the functionality of the kitchen.
Thank goodness for the Sawzall.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Moment of Clarity
I was discussing with a friend the challenges of mental illness.
The biggest challenge is the inability or unwillingness of the ill person to do what is "best" for him/her. He/She just doesn't understand nor have the ability to understand. Mental illness is difficult - not at all like taking penicillin to clear up strep throat. It involves the brain & mind. The inflicted individual has a will of his own. You can not make that person "do" anything.
It occurred to me at that moment that must be how God feels about me/us. He knows what is best for us - He has the answers, the cure, the guidance, & knowledge. But I have a will of my own & often think and do what I believe is "better." How completely frustrating for my God & Creator! Added to that is the knowledge that He created me and gave me my will - He's just asking me to trust & obey.
To rely on my Heavenly Father who is perfect and truly does have my best at heart - to turn my will over and let Him lead. There is the real challenge!
The biggest challenge is the inability or unwillingness of the ill person to do what is "best" for him/her. He/She just doesn't understand nor have the ability to understand. Mental illness is difficult - not at all like taking penicillin to clear up strep throat. It involves the brain & mind. The inflicted individual has a will of his own. You can not make that person "do" anything.
It occurred to me at that moment that must be how God feels about me/us. He knows what is best for us - He has the answers, the cure, the guidance, & knowledge. But I have a will of my own & often think and do what I believe is "better." How completely frustrating for my God & Creator! Added to that is the knowledge that He created me and gave me my will - He's just asking me to trust & obey.
To rely on my Heavenly Father who is perfect and truly does have my best at heart - to turn my will over and let Him lead. There is the real challenge!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Count: 1,2,3 your Blessings
As the hymn says: Count Your Blessings Name Them One by One.
*Our children, truely a gift from God
*Our home, yes the money pit, under continual construction: it is a good place to live and unique
*Being an American - living in the "land of the free"
*Good friends - can't say enough about you
*Our kitties - a source of humor, comfort, & joy
*Our vehicles that run well if not guzzle gas
*Hubby's job that has provided for us and allowed for me to be home full-time
*Warm sunshine and changing seasons (least like the cold - though)
*Good coffee - yum!
*Comfortable bed in a safe place to sleep
*Good health
*Lots of yummy foods easily available
*heat in the winter & cooling in the summer
*Insulated walls and sound windows
*Modern Conveniences such as flush toilets, running water, email, cell phones, telephone, electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers
*Knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior
*My husband, he's simply perfect for me.*Our children, truely a gift from God
*Our home, yes the money pit, under continual construction: it is a good place to live and unique
*Being an American - living in the "land of the free"
*Good friends - can't say enough about you
*Our kitties - a source of humor, comfort, & joy
*Our vehicles that run well if not guzzle gas
*Hubby's job that has provided for us and allowed for me to be home full-time
*Warm sunshine and changing seasons (least like the cold - though)
*Good coffee - yum!
*Comfortable bed in a safe place to sleep
*Good health
*Lots of yummy foods easily available
*heat in the winter & cooling in the summer
*Insulated walls and sound windows
*Modern Conveniences such as flush toilets, running water, email, cell phones, telephone, electricity, washing machines, dryers, dishwashers
Friday, August 15, 2008
Writing Styles
DD's birthday is quickly approaching. She sent out an email publishing her "wish list." A more talented writer than I. To think she had many tears when required to write in school - see below.
To whom it may concern,
Below is a list of items that are desired by MM for her 13th birthday. Use haste when considering when to purchase her gift, for her birthday is on Thursday, September 4th.
Now to have the discussion as to whom it is appropriate to send out such mandate! I think it went out to most everyone in her email address book!
To whom it may concern,
Below is a list of items that are desired by MM for her 13th birthday. Use haste when considering when to purchase her gift, for her birthday is on Thursday, September 4th.
Now to have the discussion as to whom it is appropriate to send out such mandate! I think it went out to most everyone in her email address book!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)