I am a person that is 'accused' of being outgoing. I guess one would believe it by some of my actions. Although I usually argue that I am not outgoing, which is received with much laughter and disbelief. I really am not terribly outgoing - my actions are a cover for my shyness, a learned behavior.
I have a Facebook account. I recently noticed the number of friends I have on this account. I was rather stunned by the many, many 'friends' I have on this account.
Many are family members, many live in my community but I am not in touch with and others live afar and have recently become reconnected.
Some of the family grouping are extended family that live in another country. It has been very grand to be more acquainted with these family members. I am feeling more confident of traveling to visit them one day, with just a bit more knowledge of them through the virtual world.
Others, quite a few, in fact are family members of my husband. I have to admit it has been fun to get to know this vast family. We live all over the upper mid-west and are not in contact much. Added to the challenge in knowing these family members is we have been unable to attend the last few reunions.
Another grouping of friends are from my school days. I must admit I don't remember some of them very well at all. But I find it entertaining to learn of who and where those I attended school with are today.
Yet another group is also from my childhood - family friends, church friends of yore. As with school friends I find it much easier to remember many of these folk if they have some 'old' photos of themselves posted.
I am not very 'close' to hardly any of these folks, but I am connected to them in some manner. The virtual world has given me, I fear, a sense of false intimacy. But I do have more to visit with these if I bump into them on the street. Small talk is easier - always a bit of a challenge for me.
Another grouping are those that are in my life day-in-day out sometimes monthly. Mostly friends of my adult life. We do not have a connection any older than maybe the last 1 day -15 years. And others are youth - which is the real reason I am on Facebook - to make sure my on DD is 'safe' in this virtual world.
All of this to say: I KNOW a lot of people. But I am friends with a limited few. I can be in a room with many of these folks and feel very alone. I really am a shy girl at heart. I hid behind my parents as a youngster - peeking out. I was dreadfully afraid of making a phone call. I have developed skills to cover for these shy traits. But it really is a cover.
I don't 'like' to be alone. I certainly don't want others to feel alone and thus usually start a conversation to make me and whoever feel better. Ha ha. It is rouse. By the end of the event I am usually tired and need some recharge time. Time alone, or with a very small number of individuals. Ones who really know me for who I am - a direct, not always tactful, big hearted, puts foot in mouth but means well, tender individual. I am not sure of where I fit in- if anywhere.
In a room with lots of people I am really uncomfortable. I tend to be a wall-flower. I do not feel like I am quit witted or chatty enough to 'work a room.' I do much better with 6 or less in a crowd.
So.... how did I ever get such a large number of 'friends?' For a shy girl, I sure do know a lot of people. Wonders will never cease.
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