Mothers of Preschoolers

Each one arrives, many carrying a child laden car seat as well as one child or more trailing behind.  Burdened down with diaper bags and baby paraphernalia, they more or less stumble into the foyer. For a few, this bi-monthly meeting is the only 'break' from their preschoolers they will receive.  Babies are dropped off in the nursery, older children escorted to the preschooler room, mothers and infants arrive in the "Mom's room" for a time of refreshment.

I engage the newest mom, asking about her dear ones she has attached at the hip, trying to make her as comfortable as possible.  Our focus group is Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) so we are an accommodating group, not minding a baby in a mother's arms or the preschooler who needs to be near Mom until comfortable with surroundings.

Each lady is craving conversation on an adult level.  Mothering little people is an exhausting, 24 hour/7 days a week task.  Talking with the under 3.5 foot set is not always stimulating or fulfilling. Changing dirty diapers does not earn a word of appreciation.  The constant task of picking up toys, making meals, cleaning up the house, doing laundry, breaking up arguments, and rescuing toddlers from near-death experiences is usually under-appreciated.  The rewards are dandelion bouquets, sticky finger hugs and kisses, and adorable children.  These same children we mothers love so deeply can frustrate us to unbelievable measures.  It stuns us to our core leaving us feeling guilty for our anger, hurt, frustration. and disillusionment.  This is not what motherhood is suppose to be like.  It is suppose to be sweet smiling children, smelling like Johnson's baby lotion.  Obedient ones that does not put rocks up noses or throw temper tantrums.  Never prone to biting, hitting, or  smearing of fecal matter all over the floor and wall.  Always coloring on paper and never on the walls.  Children with clean faces and combed hair.  Siblings that love one another never screaming at ear piercing decibels.

A mother learns much about herself on the journey of motherhood.  She can be shocked by her lack of patience.  Disillusioned by the tasked itself.  Disappointed in her husband's lack of fathering skills.  Frustrated by lack of money, undependable vehicles, running noses, barking coughs, toys everywhere, dirty clothes and dishes, and lack of independence and flexibility.  Sometimes all that is required is a word of appreciation, a hug, a word of praise, chocolate, a listening ear. and hearing the phrase "this too shall pass."  Knowing she is not alone, that her situation is not unique can be a saving life line.

Gaining support of other women in the same phase is an all important, non-to-be-missed time.  We discuss everything from infant behavior to normal and abnormal preschool behavior; the strong willed child to the very timid child; marriage to in-law relationships;  As a mentor mom, I have 'been there, done that' in many of the situations to some degree or another.  Often I feel less than wise, these are phases that usually have to be traveled, sometimes I did not travel them well.  My goal is share the lessons I learned and continue to learn and offer encouragement.  

I am honored to gather with these ladies.  I miss the preschool years of my children and try to encourage these women to savor the moment, it passes by all too quickly.  I try to give an attitude and words of grace.  Empower them to trust their gut instincts in mothering.  Brainstorm solutions to difficult situations.  Each mother is beautiful, unique, and delightful.  They allow me to cuddle their newborns, listen to my bit of experience, and call me friend.