I have been trying to figure out how to express some thoughts. Again, another attempt. Please excuse my rambling, wandering thoughts.
My friend M is fading and slipping away. It has been over a week since I visited and she lost consciousness only a day and half after I was there. She has since been moved to hopice. I am told a beautiful, serene place.
It is hard to watch someone suffer, to watch the ones that love her suffer, to suffer along with them. Something inside me desires her suffering end, which means we lose her. The other part, wants her to stay with us as long as possible. Even so, the dreaded word has come that she likely will pass within a day or so. Why during Easter? Oh, does the family need to have this memory attached to the holiday? I suppose they would anyway, but still.......
Cruetzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) is known for it's swiftness. Some may live up to two years. But not for M, her symptoms appeared just a few five to six weeks ago. She is slipping away. No longer seemingly aware of her enviornment, she looks as if she is peacefully sleeping.
I do not want to consider what is happening to her. The very thought frightens me. I pray she is truly peaceful and comfortable. I pray she can feel the love surrounding her. I pray she is not afraid, that the God of all comfort is there with her.
The anger of her diagnosis has faded leaving behind sadness and resignation. A resignation that there is nothing that can be done. CJD does not have a cure.
Please pray for M, her family, her friends. Remember them in the coming days, months, years. Her boys are young. They now face the future without their mother at their side.
..... my heart weeps and the tears fall.
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